I find it amazing how I'm able to separate emotions from actions now... Must be the organisation... Anw, bad things come after one another, it's quite true i guess... However, the diff this time is tht instead of cursing my luck or watever, i was strangely resigned, perhaps i saw it coming... But u know, life has a funny way of showing tht it's not playing with marked cards. Look hard enough and you'll see silver linings...

The festive season is here again, but u know... being in the organisation takes a bit of the festive cheer away eh.. but oh well, at least it taught me a few things, like cherishing the ppl around who care for you.. :P i dunno if i would do a round-up for the year like i always did cos i seriously have lost the touch for blogging as u can see from the disappearance of my usual narration/reflections type of post i used to post so much last year... oh well... one thing hasn't changed though, the promotion of music through this blog :) This time, it's a theme song from witch yoo hee... The pachelbel connection is all too obvious and for k-pop fans, this sounds a little rip-off from KISS greatest hit "Because I'm a Girl" Still, this song has little bit of christmasly feel, u knoe like the classic "this i promise you" from N'Sync, so there...

When RJCO concert at esplanade ended last year, my blog entry then likened it to an amputation.

It feels like an amputation.... a sinking sense of loss... But what's coming
across is not sadness, rather it's a sense of victory.... akin to a soldier
returning from the battlefield after winning a war......

Then, as RICO's tribute concert for Yang Lao Shi ended on Fri, the same feeling came back- amplified. I guess it's a longing to return to a familiar world that mattered a lot b4. Tht it was a tribute concert for Yang Lao Shi made it even more meaningful as he was the one who sowed the seeds and sparked the passion that burned till today. Watching the juniors go through the pre-concert routine opened a floodgate of memories, memories that serve to only evoke nostalgia now, cos they can never be again. Still, I'm grateful for the oppurtunity to be able to relive the memories, to recover a part of me that has been slowly corroded away in the past year.

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了 恨到算了
就好了
可能的
可以的
真的可惜了
幸福好不容易
怎么 你却不敢了呢

我还以为我们能
不同于别人
我还以为 不可能的
不会不可能

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在 在 你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了 恨到算了
就好了
可能的
可以的
真的可惜了
幸福好不容易
怎么你却不敢了呢

我还以为我们能
不同于别人
我还以为 不可能的
不会不可能

你的姿态
你的亲赖
我存在 在 你的存在
你以为爱
]就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

风筝有风
海豚有海
我存在 在 我的存在
所以明白
所以离开
所以不再 为爱而爱
自己存在 在你之外

[梁静茹 - 崇拜]

Hikaru Utada!!! Fantastic song.... What makes it even better is tht she wrote this at the age of 16....

Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Anata wa doki ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugokidasou to shiteru
Wasuretakunai koto bakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anata wo omotterun darou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever

[Utada Hikaru - First Love]

very busy for the past 2 weeks and will be busy for the next week too i guess... Booking in later for guard duty... sianz.... oh... my birthday went past last week... thks to all who sent messages and gave preents :) really appreciated them!

多少個秋　多少個冬
我幾乎快要被治癒好
但還是會只因為一個重覆的話題
就無心自擾

也曾想過　若真遇見
我們應該如何是好
我想我還是會還站在某一個街角
不讓你看到

＊只因為我不想打擾
只因為怕你解釋不了
只因為現在你的眼睛裡
她比我還重要

＃我只好假裝我看不到
看不到你和她在對街擁抱
你的快樂　我可以感受得到
這樣的見面方式對誰都好

＋我只好假裝我聽不到
聽不到別人口中的她好不好
再不想問　也不想被通知到
反正你的世界我管不了

重唱　＊,＃,＋

若不想問　若不想被通知到
就把祝福　留在街角

[ 戴佩妮- 街角的祝福]

alrite... another youtube mania coming up... first up is joe hisaishi's theme from mononoke. Presenting 3 versions, each different in their own ways, but yet all bring that euphoria u get from listening to a fantastic piece of music...


from an orchestra tht specialises in recreating anime music....


from the composer himself leading a first class symphonic orchestra


A unique blend of chinese and western music, with the composer himself on the piano... the erhu is hauntingly good....

I have no idea why i had this inspiration, but it was just like after booking out, i was on the mrt trying to recall any symphonic melody that is imprinted in my mind. After like 2 stops, this song came into my head and i can't get it out now. haha

你说你爱了不该爱的人
你的心中满是伤痕
你说你犯了不该犯的错
心中满是悔恨

你说你尝尽了生活的苦
找不到可以相信的人
你说你感到万分沮丧
甚至开始怀疑人生

早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何苦一往情深
因为爱情总是难舍难分
何必在意那一点点温存

要知道伤心总是难免的
在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问
有些人你永远不必等

[ 梁静茹- 梦醒时分 ]

something more retro this time round.... haiz... going back into camp... the countdown has begun... it's less than a year to ORD....

2007 年新加坡金曲奖最佳本地作词

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走
我却只剩回头

除了你给的伞我再也没有
别的借口
去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友
我却为何不懂挽留

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

是否太晚路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅我的雨天
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决
你却越来越远

[ 孙燕姿 - 雨天 ]

Rainy days.....

In the midst of block leave now... or rather it's ending.... watched lion for lambs, stardust, truman show, final fantasy: the spirits within and 4 eps of heroes, which i would say is quite an achievement consider the short amount of time i had... haha...

"Cinderalla and the prince got married and lived happily ever after. Everyone is satisfied with this ending and shuts the book. But ultimately, they might not be able to get over the barrier of their status difference. The prince might have an affair. Their lives begin only after the story ends."
"Begins when it ends?"
"When something happens, lets say, when the culprit is caught, society will deem the case closed. But to the victims and the ones involved, they will continue to live on forever in the incident."
Quote from Kurosagi

狼：
我要花儿开个不停 陪我们永远年轻
每朵花代表了纯净的爱情
我要种出一个森林 陪他听落叶回音
陪它看雪花融化了的宁境
我怎能不相信 飞舞的流星
正是为了实现我和花儿的约定

看满天的星星 写出我心情
正好代表着我和你 拥抱的生命
也许云端里有精灵 窃听我的心
就让我们一起闭上眼睛

雪：
我要提琴奏出生命 陪我们永远年轻
每个音节都有渐进的感情
我要用心表演一场 让世界对我肯定
让湖边的狼也用心的倾听
我怎能不相信 飞舞的流星
正是为了实现我和音乐的约定

合：
看满天的星星(流星的风景)
写出我心情(有你的背影)
正好代表着我和你(你永远是我)
拥抱的生命(命中的精灵)
也许云端里有精灵窃听我的心
就让我们一起闭上眼睛
就让我们一起闭上眼睛

[张学友，许慧欣 - 流星下的愿]

beautiful song.... the canto version is even nicer.. check out the youtube video below...



x japan is back in business.. playing "I.V" on oct 22 during the press release for Saw IV.... looking forward to them releasing the version of "without you" with toshi doing the vocals.... bsb has made a comeback also, with their new album "unbreakable" released on oct 30... listened to it once thru already, and despite several positives, i'm still not ready to swap 933 with power 98 or perfect 10 as my default radio station.... haha....

block leave coming up!!! the thing bout the army is tht one would rather book out and do nothing than to stay in and slack..... no wonder boon comments on his msn nick tht the organisation is the only place where ppl seek to downgrade 0_o

想不起
怎么会病到不分好歹
连受苦都甜美
我每日捱著不睬不理
但却捱不死
又去痴缠你
难道终此一生都要这么
不可争一口气
很谦卑只不过是我太过爱你
连自尊都忘记
跌到极麻木只好相信
又再爬得起
就会有转机
若我不懂憎你如何离别你
亦怕不会飞

由这一分钟开始计起春风秋雨间
恨我对你以半年时间慢慢的心淡
付清账单
平静的对你热度退减
一天一点伤心过这一百数十晚
大概也够我送我来回地狱又折返人间
春天分手秋天会习惯
苦冲开了便淡

限我对你以半年时间慢慢的心淡
说甚么再平反
只怕被迫一起更碍眼
往后这半年间
只爱自己虽说不太习惯
毕竟有限就当过关

[容祖儿- 心淡]

on a joey yung craze here.... there's a chinese version but i tot the canto one sounded better and the lyrics are better too... lol... and the one below is a duet btw her and hacken lee.... canto again... haha.... the one below tht is a duet btw her and fish leong singing 2 songs together...







aid course coming up next week... learning how to poke urself with needles... *shudders...
then on fri, there's a specialist appt tht determines everything for the next 1 yr..... probably a sat burn this week for range.... argh... the monotony of life is getting to me.... haha... probably the reason why i'm starting to bring in jc notes to read in camp......

不用相信 我对你表白的感受
只要知道 我们是永远的朋友
我没想到 你怕了我过火的温柔
别让一场相识美丽都变成丑陋
我会好好忍住泪流 你还夫复何求

我走 你会不会跟我勉强的牵牵手
牵牵手 可能是唯一抚摸你的藉口
我走 在有笑容的时候请把我表情看透
我总是关怀你的感受 不想听的不说出口
这一颗给你漂白的心
属于这多年的朋友什么都没有

想起我们从前 难道你没发现 那些沉默的缠绵
一起吃过拉面 一起看过表演 回忆永远不改变

我不希望爱情会让我抬不起头
别让难忘的往事都变成了一段伤口
我会向别人展开追求 你还夫复何求

我走 你会不会跟我勉强的牵牵手
牵牵手 可能是唯一抚摸你的藉口
我走 在有笑容的时候请把我表情看透
我总是关怀你的感受 不想听的不说出口
这一颗给你漂白的心
属于这多年的朋友什么都没有

想起我们从前 难道你没发现那些沉默的缠绵
希望经过多年我们还会见面
仅有的聊天关系不改变

[容祖儿- 漂白的心]

great lyrics from an old song....

lol... while surfing aimlessly yest, came across this freaking funny podcast by mr brown on guard duty...
http://www.mrbrownshow.com/2007/09/12/the-mrbrown-show-the-pre-guard-duty-test/
was pretty tickled by it...

kk... guess i shld blog a bit while i'm on attend c. For those who dunno, i'm on 3 days mc since wed to prevent infection of the joint after my mri (specifically, arthrogram... i'll elaborate on this later) Did guard duty on mon, first time as guard comd so a few things here and there screwed up, but luckily no extras came flying my way... After a sleepless night (okay i slept on a sofa for a hour, but tht's all), had 2 hrs of sleep in the morning b4 moving out for vehicle navi... Luckily for me, the vehicle broke down and we were towed back to our camp and i subsequently booked out at night for my arthrogram on wed...

early wed morning, went to sgh with my mum cos i'm under 21, needed an adult to authorise the injection. haha... now the exciting part, the scan involves this injection of dye into the joint muscle area so tht the muscles would show up on the scan. So the doc has to poke a needle into the wrist joint area and how does she know if it's the right place? The answer is tht she uses a x-ray machine. So i was lying there, couldn't see or feel (cos of painkillers) my hand, but could see the doc wriggling the needle in my joint area clearly on the x-ray screen...was a bit freaky sia... After the scan, went back to endorse my mc and went home....



backstreet boys! haha... new album on oct 30... wondering if this would induct me back into the english pop music scene...

guard duty tmr.... mri scan on wed... then attend c 3 days(hopefully)..... then book in on sat do cos 0_o sianz.....

那年冬天子弹它给了你自由
没了躯壳就活在人们心中
看着今天你会笑还是会摇头

整个世界曾经都跟着你作梦
如今和平依然在歌曲里头
猜忌战火还跟着我一起生活

能不能暂时把你的勇气给我
在梦想快消失的时候
让我的歌用力的穿过天空
为我爱的人做一秒英雄 woh

一颗红豆为何想单挑这宇宙
都要怪你在我心中播了种
一把吉他就想对抗万千炮火

玩着游戏出糗喧闹的摄影棚
怪兽石头默默的吐在厕所
ok 再来要世界为我们感动

能不能暂时把你的勇气给我
在梦想快消失的时候
让我的歌用力的穿过天空
为我爱的人做一秒英雄

能不能暂时把你的梦想给我
在勇气快消失的时候
总有一天要人们叫我披头
最后没成功也作过最美的梦

能不能暂时把你的勇气给我
在梦想快消失的时候
让我的歌用力的穿过天空
为我爱的人做一秒英雄

能不能暂时把你的梦想给我
在勇气快消失的时候
总有一天要人们叫我披头
最后没成功也作过最美的梦

没有遗憾最美的梦

I like the strings accompaniment, esp during the verse portion...

It's children's day today... a timely reminder tht one shld approach life with the innocence and enthusiasm of a child....

Meanwhile, good luck to all taking their exams or studying for exams.... i know this probably sounds crazy, but i think i would rather be out there studying too...

我是一只咸鱼不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想著翻身

咸鱼就算翻身还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最后我还有咸鱼不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦
有没有错
错过才会更加明白
明白坚持是什黱?

我如果有梦
梦要够疯
够疯才能变成英雄
总会有一篇我的传说

我不好也不坏不特别出众我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错错完了再从头

也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风咸鱼也要有梦

有一天有我的天空

作我的英雄在我的天空我知道你懂知道你会懂

[ 五月天 - 咸鱼 ]

我如果有梦, 有没有错,错过才会更加明白,明白坚持是什黱
i think that line pretty well sums up how i am feeling about my life now... a sort of a release, cos my mentality now is pretty much a "come what may" one.... settled in into my new coy pretty well.... i dunno whether it's the culture here or wat but we are still being referred to as the "new batch of specialists" even after 1 month here.... guess tht tag will only wear off after someone newer get posted in...

我的小时候
吵闹任性时侯
我的外婆
总会唱歌哄我
夏天的午后
老老的歌安慰我
那首歌好象这样唱的

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

离开小时候
有了自己的生活
新鲜的歌
新鲜的念头
任性和冲动
无法控制的时候
我忘记
还有这样的歌

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独

天黑的时候
我又想起那首歌
突然期待
下起安静的雨
原来外婆的道理早就唱给我听
下起雨也要勇敢前进….
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

[孙燕姿 - 天黑黑]

Having nights off now, so came here for a short update since i didn't do any last week. Last weekend was an eventful one, with jilyn flying off on sat night and zihan on sun night. Nothing much i can say, cept for good luck and take care. On a sidenote, it just makes me wonder if i should still try for a overseas uni.... Whether would I be able to take the step to cut myself off from all that I'm familiar with for another 3-4 years after 2 years of doing so in the army.... hmmz...

Last thurs was unit cohesion, went over to mandai for the treetop trails (yes, of all places... the familiar navex ground) ... lol... thts not the main point though...haha.... The main point was that when we travelled back to camp, we passed by RJ from the back. I think the last time i've been around tht area was like half a year ago? Then the memories, like floodgates broken open, ran through my head. Esp when we passed by the CO room... It looks so normal from the outside, but any ex-RJCO- ian would tell you that stuff that went on in/around tht room had a special place in their hearts.... haiz... shall move on b4 this become some super nostalgic post...

coy cohesion on thurs... chalet!!! haha... My new coy rocks! fri on leave.... anyone wanna go back rj? had this sudden urge to go after *looks above.... sian... but think i'm the only one roaming around tht day.... kk... got to run to book in...... oh wait it's 中秋节 today..... 中秋节快乐！

You know, sometimes when you want to say something.. express a point and then the words come out all wrong... It just makes you feel so helpless and fruastrated. It's like you know what's the problem and how to solve it, but.... you're not the right person, it's not the right time, not the right circumstances....

2 straight lines intersect at a point and they diverge after that.
Parallel lines however, either do not intersect or intersect at all points....

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of prosperity
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know theres always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Chorus:
Was I out of my head? was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Dont matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If youre sad then its time you spoke up too

Chorus
Repeat chorus

[Fastball- Out Of My Head]



Credits to kwan for intro-ing the chinese version of the song... pretty cute mv

虽然你脾气坏对待朋友又差凸槌又更爱牵拖
佳在你遇到我不爱计较的我算你坏人有好命

我走路你坐车你吃饭我洗碗你被欺负我拼命
若为了爽到你可以艰苦到我因为咱缘分不可散

有你我才未孤单
有你的陪伴我才有靠山
你若不爽我是你的垃圾车
每天听你的心声

有你我才未孤单
有你的陪伴我才有靠山
你若欢喜我是你的垃圾车
每天听你唱歌

感情若想要满杯底就要呼干这杯就爱饮呼干
这杯你饮呼干这杯我饮呼干
咱这箱拢饮呼干拢饮呼干

[五月天 - 垃圾车]

whee.... kk... bought Mayday's "new" CD, 离开地球表面 JUMP! haha.... and as usual, Mayday never fails to make one happy and high after listening to them.

I seriously have no idea what i can do now but to watch and see........ and perhaps..... pray.....

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall, in love, with you?

[BSB- How Did I fall in love with you?]

Note: This post was never meant to be depressing, rather it's a calm and careful contemplation of the 8 months that have passed....

Now tht I'm sombre and awake, i find it hard to describe this state of emptiness. The inability to think has transformed into a rather complex reluctance to think - for maybe the obvious logic of certain issues can inflict substantial amount of frustration and pain. The cacophony of army life has simmered to a droning but still irritating background noise; the angst and enmity towards the organisation have cooled to a weary and reluctant acceptance of the way things are. Dun get me wrong, I'm not brainwashed to start agreeing with their methods and ways of doing things, but rather, it's the realisation that one has neither power nor ability to effect a revolutionary change and that the continuation in the attempt to do so would only result in unhappiness generated for both you yourself and the people around you. I think i'm starting to understand the implicit responsibility one holds to people whom one cares for or vice versa. The question of "what else would you lose if nothing at all matters?"can be answered rather simply. Yes, you dun lose anything, but you can cause others to lose something, something like happiness, love, faith, joy and so on. To put it simply across in an example- for me, whether I'm at home or in camp dun really matter that much to me, but to my parents, the mere presence of me at home actually mean something to them. So in a way, there's a responsibility on me to ensure that I do not get held back in camp unnecessarily. To conclude this point, let me just add tht this applies not only to army matters but to all aspects of life - tht while personal concerns must be addressed, the implicit external responsibilities cannot be ignored.

light at the end of the tunnel..... hope? .... think twice.... it might be an oncoming train....

p.s. I'm pretty unnerved by the clinical and passive style I wrote this paragraph, tht's why i stopped rather abruptly. Sometimes i think i try too hard to be who i was b4... Though it is a common saying that it is simple to forget everything and start from square one again, the problem is that each and every time, the square one is diiferent - bcos of the route that was taken to reach it, just like in the movie De ja vu...



With subtitles this time....

I kinda like the scene where they were both playing the violin.... anw... another super nice song by leehom.... lol.. The songs i'm listening to now all sound quite tragic.....

Harry Potter's ending has got a bit of fairytale twist to it, which reminds me a little of the movie A.I. - tht maybe it should have ended a bit earlier?


anw... booked out of my camp at 5pm yest, went home, turned on the tv and saw 仙剑奇侠传 showing on channel U... 刘亦菲! haha... but well tht's not the only reason i was glued to the tv till 7pm.... the fantastic soundtrack, the one u are hearing in the background now, got me addicted...

Back from taiwan last week.... Pretty memorable trip I guess, training portion was crazy though the uncontrolled navigation was undoubtedly fun. R and R "educational tours" got pretty boring by the 2nd day but the nights off in Taipei were cool... Food and shopping to the max in the night markets over there...

hmm... watched the new film by jay chou, Secret. Pretty nice storyline i guess, a bit adapted from Lakehouse.... The theme song is another jay chou's classic..... nice....

冷咖啡離開了杯墊
我忍住的情緒在很後面
拼命想挽回的從前
在我臉上依舊清晰可見

最美的不是下雨天
是曾與你躲過雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回憶的畫面
在蕩著秋千 夢開始不甜

你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
又何必去改變 你說過的誓言
你用你的指尖 指示我說再見
想象你在身邊 在完全失去之前

你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的簽 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀 這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片
要我怎麼撿

[不能说的秘密- 周杰伦]
Graduation's parade next thurs, tht means tht i'm finally getting out of sispec! (okay there's still a small chance tht i might go back as an instructor)

It's taking a lot of effort to restrain myself from buying the new Harry Potter book... grrr.... cos i know i won't finish it in time b4 ROC. Think i'll buy it after ROC and read it during my block leave... so ppl, no spoilers pls... On the topic of Harry Potter, I was just thinking how the series has unfolded with the main character (Harry) growing up almost concurrently with us, as in those born in 88. This special relationship made reading the book sometimes become like reading about ourselves.... Now that the series is coming to an end with Harry leaving Hogwarts and us leaving sch, I hope the final book would provide an apt conclusion... Magic in the book may be just some illusion or fantasy, but the most powerful magic of all (as defined by Dumbledore) transcends all boundaries.....

leaving for ROC soon... i still can't imagine how different would celebrating national day in a foreign country be.... Past week in camp have been pretty slack for others, but for me i completed the 32km march to get the CSB badge... The rest of the time was spent on packing our stuff and useless briefings like the SOP (standard operating procedure) of..... using a condom... haha... see u ppl in 3 weeks time after national day and meanwhile, another age-old dinosaur song... One of the best national day songs i must say....

It suddenly struck me that melodramatic ironies appears more frequently in our lives than what we thought ( that they exist only in tv serials and stuff.. )

杨老师 passed away on wed... got the sms from zj when i came back from field camp on thurs... deprived of sleep and being kept busy with post-field camp admin, I could not even garner a quiet moment in his memory.... haix... so well, here's a dedication: Thanks for the guidance and support, thanks for the patience and passion and most importantly, thanks for the memories....

confinement week was pretty interesting i guess with 3 live firings, 4 nights out and a 4 day field camp stacked in... lost the most absurd of things during field camp- my wristwatch 0_o, haven't figured how i lost it yet.... with only 4 hours of sleep in the whole 4 days of field camp, all i remember of it was feeling constantly tired and sleepy... ROC coming up, and basically after ROC, the course would be pretty much over.... seriously can't wait...

Watched harry potter and transformers over the weekend... hp didn't live up to the hype i guess... yes, there was more plot and watsoever in the movie, but wat happened to the special effects, the music and stuff... on the other hand, transformers was fantastic with enthralling story-telling..... The movie moved at a fanatic pace, leaving you breathless right at the end... really enjoyed it...

Verse 1
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming ’bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Pre-chorus 1
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Chorus
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

Verse 2
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

Pre-chorus 2
And we were letting go of something special
Something we’ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

Chorus
The day you went away
The day you went away

Pre-chorus 1
Chorus

Bridge
Why do we never know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I’ve been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

The day you went away
The day you went away

[M2M - the day you went away]

sometimes, songs like this reminds you of how old you are ... for those who dun knoe, this song was released while we were still in pri sch.... a good 7 years already?

wish(ed) i could mean more......

I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where we go
when we´re grey and old
´cos I´ve been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold
so when I’m lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she won't forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know i'll always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me

[Robbie Williams - Angels]

hmm.... robbie williams craze eh... boring week in camp.... My wrist's holding up nicely i think... Cleared 2 SOCs and IPPT without much prob, but there's still a lingering pain when i do pull ups and parallel bars... Probably would get it checked near the end of the course... confinement week ahead... Looking forward to the Harry Potter movie the next time i book out... haha.. good luck to the ocs ppl going brunei...

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

[Robbie Williams - Better Man]

Perhaps for some strange reason, this song just popped into my head...

X-ray of my left wrist shows no bone injury, so i'm continuing with training. Well, it still hurts when u exert force in a certain direction on it.... could be ligament damage i guess, whether it'll hold up we shall see after IPPT and soc next week...

Booked out on fri evening this week, the first time since i came to sispec? lol... kept myself pretty busy throughout the weekend, met up with CO friends, the class ppl and also the RI gang also..... Can't really believe that it's been 6 months since we left sch already...

Hectic weeks ahead, next week book out is sat night or sun morn, then followed by a confinement weekend b4 a long weekend just b4 we set off for ROC training.... can't wait for this course to end....

风吹落最后一片叶
我的心也飘着雪
爱只能往回忆里堆叠
oh~给下个季节
忽然间树梢冒花蕊
我怎么会都没有感觉
oh~整条街都是恋爱的人
我独自走在暖风的夜

多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭
oh~却还是少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节

艳阳高照在那海边
爱情盛开的世界
远远看著热闹一切
oh~我记得那狂烈
窗外是快枯黄的叶
感伤在心中有一些
oh~我了解那些爱过的人
心是如何慢慢在凋谢

多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭
oh~却永远少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节

又走过风吹的冷冽
最后一盏灯熄灭
从回忆我慢慢穿越
在这寂寞的季节
还是寂寞的季节
一样寂寞的季节

hmm.... i find the atmosphere created by this song almost intoxicating? haha... think it's one of the songs that you can easily hum along when you are not in the best of your moods and maybe it'll cheer you up a little....

bleah... sprained my left wrist during soc, so i'm out of action until the x-ray and review on mon... hmm... my first vist to the MO was pretty interesting, talked to him bout jc/army life, scholarships, unis and stuff.... aslc's pretty okay i guess, esp when ur sect comd enlisted only 3 months b4 you and is also a NSF... But well, with every passing day in the army, I'm still getting more cynical - where's the meritocracy?!

Sometimes, i guess happiness comes from seeing others happy, esp when u are in a position where there's nothing really worth it for you to fight for....
笑着哭虽然痛， 但至少你知道你没阻扰别人的幸福，也没增加别人的不快乐.....
知足吧....

same old story of so much to do, so little time left..... haiz...

Life has its unique way of making fun of people. Lesson learnt: Do not hate others for what they did wrong against you, for life has an interesting way of invoking karma- tht is by making you do the same thing as wat they did to you in the first place.... Forgiveness is the key, but too bad forgiving requires precise timing and time would not turn back just for one man. Oh well... then let's just start from this moment by.... forgiving myself.

All I needed was a reason. But now, the importance of it has diminished. All I want now is release- to break free.....

是你决定我的伤心...

pardon the sound quality but it's the only version on youtube...

The past week was extremely..... interesting... haha, my command of english has deproved to such a state where I can't find the appropiate adjectives to describe what i want to describe.... So wat happened? It's the end of course for the bslc ppl in sispec.. The night b4 graduation day, we started our 28km route march and at the end of it, was suffering from abrasion, blisters and a sprained ankle... lol, tht's wat u get when u have a red beret OC leading u on the march... But well, the little tour we took through NTU was pretty nice and refreshing, so much different from the rows upon rows upon rows of trees that we are so used to seeing. After the march, we had the graduation parade in FBO. Interestingly, we were being observed by a bunch of NCC boys and girls that I have no idea why they are there in the first place. Then, the rest of the day was given up to "out-processing" otherwise also known as productive time-wasting. The verdict(posting order) came at the end of the day, just when we were about to book out. ASLC for me, which came as an interesting surprise coz the platoon best didn't make it there but i did 0_o I did say i was immune to everything thrown at me in the army already but with the hours without sleep standing at 36 and counting, the final straw came when they extended our book-out timing by3 hours to do in-processing into out new aslc coy. So in the end, booked out at nearly 10pm, reached home near 12, was so tired tht I couldn't even walk straight after getting down from the taxi...

next day was vesak day, was supposed to meet the class for movie at the cathay. Ended up being late cos of *looks above... Pirates was good, the soundtrack was fantastic as usual.. Hans Zimmer at his usual best... lol... just noticed it though, the pirates soundtrack sounds a little like Gladiators one, no? haha... but well, both are by Hans Zimmer so i guess there's no problem with plagerism and stuff... Hmm... went to suki for lunch after the movie and i had hurry home to book in at a super early 1830 for drill com prac, yes with a sprained ankle... Supposedly last event of the course is sispec anniversary day, which was transformed into our games day... Golf coy in the end swept most of the events, i'm still wondering how we won drill com and yes if u are wondering, i took part with a sprained ankle, so either others are super lousy or i'm super good. I'm inclined to think the latter... haha... The commanders then pilfered the wine from the hampers tht we won b4 letting us book out. For the drill com, it was a XO and a chardonnay which i guessed made up for 90% of the cost of the hamper.... haha.... Then while everyone booked out with "Happily Ever After" look on their faces, the aslc ppl had "To Be Continued" on their faces and the ocs crossovers from my platoon (i dunno bout others) had "The End" look on their faces...

On sat, started my music therapy programme by going for a concert.... been eons since i went for one. Went for SYCO's concert, unlike lucky kwan who went for mayday's one ( can sense the envy creeping in) haha, no lar... First, i won't bear to part with the sum of money needed to buy their tics considering my "pay" and secondly, i won't be able to confirm whether i'll be there 2 months in advance. lol, it was good tht i went for SYCO's concert though, cos it triggered the CO fever again... haha.... now i'm spamming co songs, pirates soundtrack, mandopop on my com. It's like back to the good old schooling days- CO madness + a little from everywhere else... haha...

kk... guess i'm done with the narrating, it'll be a long time till u see such a long narration ba, at least 11 weeks... yup, ironically, i'm going taiwan for training for my next course so i guess i won't be in sg for most of july. Why or how is it ironic shall be known to no one but me and myself, but well reading paulo coelho is starting to impact me. "When u wan something, all in the universe conspires in helping u achieve it" If u believe in tht, then nothing would be able to get u down... Meanwhile, if u dun understand any of the above, u can pray tht no stray fighter jets crash into military bases while i'm there..... lol..

Leaving you all with a super "high" song. A collaboration btw FIR , STephanie sun and mayDAY
FIRST DAY

下过雨的
夏天傍晚
我都会期待
唱歌的蝉嘿
把星星都吵醒
月光晒了很凉快

就是这样回忆起来
第一次告白(初次告白)
尴尬的我
看爱装得很哲学的你其实很可爱
你说活在明天活在期待
不如活得今天很自在
我说我懂了
会不会太快
未来第一天要展开

第一天我存在
第一次呼吸畅快
站在地上的脚踝
因为你而有真实感
第一天我存在
第一次能飞起来
爱是腾空的魔幻
第一天的纯真色彩
它总是永远那么灿烂

你很搞笑
你很奇怪
你头发很乱
有的时候你
突会为我的事情变得很勇敢
这么说来
很不单纯你陪我看海
海那么蓝
我又好像不应该把你想得有点坏

坏的是我发现不知不觉
不见到你不是很习惯
你的眼神里好像也期待
期待不一样的未来

第一天我存在
第一次呼吸畅快
站在地上的脚踝
因为你而有真实感
第一天我存在
第一次能飞起来
爱是腾空的魔幻
第一天的纯真色彩
它总是永远那么灿烂

蓝色的海(阿信:蓝色的海)
海上的云(飞:海上的云)
云的那端(阿信:云的那端)
不转弯(飞:不转弯)
到未来(阿信:到未来)

你说活在明天活在期待
不如活得今天很自在
我说我懂了会不会太快
未来第一天要展开

第一天我存在
第一次呼吸畅
快站在地上的脚踝
因为你而有真实感
第一天我存在
第一次能飞起来
爱是腾空的魔幻
第一天的纯真色彩
它总是永远那么灿烂
永远那么灿烂
永远那么灿烂
first day first day first day first day first day today everyday first day

enjoy!

Past week had been a rollercoaster ride... It's funny how life has a way of taking away things that are rightfully yours and compensating them with things that are not rightfully yours... Passing out and getting out of sispec (hopefully) in 3 days time, and i realise tht the past 10 weeks had little or no impact on me, lest to make me more cynical and unappreciative of the system... well... 4 and a half months down, 1 and a half more yrs to go....

Hmm... at one of the lowest points of the rollercoaster ride i had in camp, i put on my headphones and plugged in 933... 五月天's 让我照顾你 was playing.... and it made everything feel and look better.... haha... mayday rocks!

坐在我身旁你的心伤
不懂我也不想
但你的眼泪下在我心脏
回家的太阳红着眼框
心疼你的模样
影子的悲伤也变得更长

昨天谁让你受过伤
今天想要让你都遗忘

是你爱你让我变的更强
为你战斗永不投降
让我照顾你
我要让雨停出太阳

我超越我自己的想象
风雨刀枪能为你挡
让我照顾你
让你未来放在我肩上

新的冷笑话巧克力糖
开始为你收藏
最近连睡觉手机也在手上
幻想着未来满头白发
公园的长椅上你也许会说一声谢谢我

如果这一生到尽头
换你的这句话很足够

是你爱你让我变的更强
为你战斗永不投降
让我照顾你
我要让雨停出太阳

我超越我自己的想象
风雨刀枪能为你挡
让我照顾你
为你失去生命也辉煌

是你爱你让我变的更强
为你战斗永不投降
让我照顾你
我要让雨停出太阳

我超越我自己的想象
风雨刀枪能为你挡
让我照顾你
让你未来放在我肩上

[五月天- 让我照顾你]

每年深秋我总要说
happy birthday 祝福你
而这首歌 just for you

这是为你写的歌
在我们不再是恋人的多年以后
我试著回忆已泛黄的你
什么原因叫我离你而去
往事却不复记忆
对我来说总有些心悸
虽然世故的我并不想拥有什么
就让我停留让我停留在满布尘埃的旧信笺里
而你依然是你

在曾是属于我们的年少时光里
尘封中的回忆竟亮丽如昔
却怎么也不能看清你的眼睛
也许是曾经失去曾经伤心
教我迷惘的忘记你就不顾再提起

每年深秋我总要说happy birthday
祝福你而这首歌 just for you
just for you

taiwan jet plane crashes into milltary base, killing 2 sg soldiers and injuring 9 others... The only reason I'm concerned with this news - a bright and promising nsf reduced to a mere statistic. A few months from now, no one would remember his name, his face, his potential. All that is left
are statistics - 2 died, 9 injured. And these stats would be repeated many many times by the anti-ns ppl who champion apparently freedom and justice of the civillian and the millitary officers trying to teach the textbook example of "unforseen circumstances". His name, his face and what he could have been would not be relevant then. Ironically, the organisation is responsible for none of this... It's human nature and it seems so normal until u realise that it's like a lottery, it could have very well been you instead of him and that what he missed out on is what everyone of us yearn for - freedom and justice.....

有多久没见你
以为你在那里
原来就住在我的心
底陪伴着我的呼吸

有多远的距离
以为闻不到你的气息
谁知道你背影这么长
回头就看到你

过去让它过去来不及
从头喜欢你
白云缠绕着蓝天
如果不能够永远都在一起
也至少给我们
怀念的勇气
拥抱的权利
好让你明白
我心动的痕迹

总是想再见你
还试着打探你的消息
原来你就住在我的身体
守护我的回忆

[林晓培－心动］
真得很想说出来，但始终觉得自己没有这个权力和勇气去要求一个不属于自己的东西
过去就让它过去？

Went back RJ today to watch the juniors prac for syf. Reminded me of the times when we were preparing for concert just last year. Somehow these memories put things in another different and yet fresh perspective. haha... whatever it is, to anyone from rjco who might be reading this, good luck and a piece of advice from me - Burn with passion, not to stand out of the crowd, but to illuminate those around you who had all along trusted in you, believed in you, suffered with you and stood by you... for it is through this way that an eternal seal of friendship is formed......

Nothing seems to be going right nowadays, be it small or big things.... But well, i'm way beyond caring already...

或许只有绝望的人， 才会相信奇迹的存在....



天上一万颗星星我却只看见你
你说这是幸运 还是不可思议

很多时候我因为怕受伤，所以就选择先放弃。
我更因为我太爱自由，所以明明渴望爱情，却依然不知怎样让别人进入我的世界。

难道，我不能给你百分百的信心吗？
你知道，我一直有多在乎你。

我珍惜这份安全感，却担心他的牺牲。
所以每天的感觉还是孤独的。
我还是需要一个人，一个人想一想。

冰箱结霜 咖啡滚烫 煮不好 最简单的早餐......
我的生活 是一团混乱 维持单身 感觉茫然......
喜不喜欢 习不习惯 我总是 说不出个答案......
一个人来 又一个人往 怎么让他 流连忘返......

我不想当笨蛋 我在墙上写满渴望......
我可以大哭一场 房间还是空空荡荡......
我绝对不逞强 该属于我任其自然......
可是我也要安全感..在某个适当程度的主张......
纵然是了解眼光 也是温暖

这段日子你真的过的好吗？
没有你的早晨，加了糖的咖啡，也是苦的。

当时我尊重你的要求，所以我离开。
但，这段日子你不开心，所以我就回来了。

也许，我连自己要什么我也不知道。
我一个人，游游荡荡。自由久了，也没有了目标。
梦里醒来，发现墙上已经不自觉写满了你的名字。

单身，是茫然。恋爱，也彷徨。我明白，
所以我用时间去证明了这颗心。不会因为你曾经的放弃而改变。

每个早上 都想赖床 没有梦 是最让人沮丧......
我的眼睛 盯着天花板 也跑不出 任何对象......

我不想当笨蛋 我在墙上写满渴望......
我可以大哭一场 房间还是空空荡荡......
我绝对不逞强 该属于我任其自然......
可是我也要安全感, 在某个适当程度的主张......
纵然是了解眼光也是温暖

难道我真的是个笨蛋？一直错过已经在身边的幸福。

我们只是用时间找到了我们需要什么。
时间让我们认识了自己，也肯定了对方。

因为你，让我知道真正的幸福是什么。

Time is defined by change. I finally understood what that means. If event A had taken place a year ago, I would know with certainty what to do, but when event A occurs now, I am at a loss. Why? Because of all the uncertainty. Shall relate a incident that happened during night navi. When the majority of the team wanted to give up and head towards the end point, I insisted on combing the area and in the end, found the checkpoint by following my gut instinct. At that point of time, I felt victorious, cos it's been a long time since I did something with passion, drive, interest and determination. And it's been a long time since I felt that I knew something with so much certainty and yet so little reason....

我怀念的，竟然是那种不可理喻，冲动的感觉....

I was only human. I'm trying to be one now.... 找自己....

Been freaking busy in camp for the past week, the worst part being having psc interview straight after night navi and then live firing in the morning b4 i can book out. 3.5 hrs of sleep and only booking out 50 mins b4 my interview = gg . Splashed around 17 bucks on taxi fare.... sianz...
bg sound is 阿沁（fromFIR) 遗失的美好... Damn nice... think it sounds better than angela's version, which proves the point again that piano and strings owns all.....

夜的宁静
是时候好好反省
月的阴晴
圆缺就像我的心

夜下着雨
天在哭泣
不知道何时才放晴
我忽然非常想念你

你的背影
让我失去了理性
你的放弃
让我迷失了自己
你的离去就像刺青
永远烙印在我的心
是如此痛而如此的美丽

我努力的想哭泣
却哭不出泪滴
一次又一次的灰心
才发现早已麻痹
终于发现自己
已经不在乎你

原来分手也能如此安宁

[孙燕姿- 安宁]

Static, cynical, under-motivated, immune.

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.

I'm trying my best to, but is being immune to feelings better than having a whirlpool of emotions. I get the idea that I have just exchanged the devil for the deep blue sea....

The worst kind of pain are usually self-inflicted. It comes from the feeling of helplessness. Having the will yet not having the ability to change the circumstances often result in an excruciating pain that gnaws away at your soul, making you less and less of a human.

Have faith. But perhaps.... perhaps.... this is one time too many.....

Block leave's over. Going sispec tmr. I guess I should post something up here as an update. hmm... i dunno but i think every time i book out from army, i feel less of a human. True enough, there are things, precious and important, that can only be learnt through army.... but at the price of freedom, sometimes u just feel that it's not worth it.... haiz... okay... realised that my music sense is going down the drain so i shall do music therapy for every subsequent bookout from now.... and for now, i shall spam music up here....



Wonderful piece... Crystal clear vocals and the way she switches betw falsetto and her normal voice with tremendous ease is simply breathtaking..... lyrics below..

I'll be your love
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow

There's a time
You feel like you are lost
Fell the night will never end
Through the daybreak
It's hard to hold on
But there is tomorrow
Brings you to your senses
As the sun will make it's way

You'll make it there
To the place where reality and dreams
And love will be together
I'll keep the light from fading
If the clouds blind your way
And the wind sways your faith

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow
Let me see you smile

Don't you cry
Over the past
Some days might be gray
And dreary
Not easy to leave
To leave it behind
'Til the rain stops in silence
I'll be there to hold your heart

I'll be with you
'Til you find the reason for love
We take it for granted
We'll keep the time from fading
'Cuz the world is here to stay
Your hope is deeper than pain

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow

If you would believe
Believe in the world
A vision of love
And the strength inside your heart
You'll find a way

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow
I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone



hmm... i uploaded it as bg song once, but i tot this makes a better impact... yah... again... superb vocals....



Credits to kwan for this one... Canto pop with an orchestral twist, something that mordern pop singers should attempt to emulate... We are seeing too many pop songs with extremely skimpy arrangements (ie bubblegum pop)



I just can't get this song out of my head... Love the strings part in the middle... Yup, Boa's chio too and has a wonderful voice so tht's a plus point....



Bleah... since army rendered me with no financial means and time to watch the live musical, i shall content with watching clips from youtube...haha....

POP-ed in the rain.... Past 9 weeks had been memorable... Thank you Ulysses coy, for all the fun, laughter, pain and tears. Truly, I'll be missing "U".....

妳　的淚光　柔弱中帶傷
慘白的月彎彎　勾住過往
夜　太漫長　凝結成了霜
是誰在閣樓上　冰冷的絕望

雨　輕輕彈　朱紅色的窗
我一生在紙上　被風吹亂
夢　在遠方　化成一縷香
隨風飄散　妳的模樣

*
菊花殘　滿地傷　妳的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸　我心事靜靜躺
北風亂　夜未央　妳的影子剪不斷
徒留我孤單　在湖面　成雙
*

花　已向晚　飄落了燦爛
凋謝的世道上　命運不堪
愁　莫渡江　秋心拆兩半
怕妳上不了岸　一輩子搖晃

誰　的江山　馬蹄聲狂亂
我一身的戎裝　呼嘯滄桑
天　微微亮　妳輕聲的嘆
一夜惆悵　如此委婉

The ultimate combination of 方文山 and 周杰伦...

A level results are out. Did better than expected, esp for GP and the s-papers. hmm... sought redress for my O level A2s for phy and chem... haha... thanks to all who wished me good luck and stuff yah, guess it really worked eh....

6 years as a rafflesian has come to an end and i think the bg song suits the mood lar... I like the opening a lot, the strings esp... 菊花殘　滿地傷　妳的笑容已泛黃... Such a perfect analogy for memories... wilted flowers that would never be the same again, the smile in ur memory that has faded.... Bittersweet- tht's what memory tastes like...

Empty.... that's how it feels.... when u have no idea what to do....
A question "Is there anything I can do?"
The answer is "no" but my heart refuses to believe...

All outfield training over, only grenade throw, IPPT, SOC and all the remaining route marches left.... 16km route march tmr, after the SDC visit... sianz... they seem to like to put route marches rite after our book outs..

The one thing that I really like during outfield is the view of the stars at night. u knoe... when u can just lie back and start counting the endless number of stars in the sky.... when u look upon a star, have u ever wondered if someone else in a totally different or totally similar environment may be at the same time looking upon the same star? To me, the stars are like messengers... They connect ppl in different locations, situations, environments together...Be it if u are happy, sad, angry, frustrated, elated or whatever, the stars will remind you that whatever u are experiencing now is not everything....

A level results are looming... good luck everyone! (tht is if u need it)

Amethyst

作曲：YOSHIKI 作词：YOSHIKI

You are only a whisper away
But I can't touch your heart
If the words aren't enough to bet your soul
I'll give you the moon
You are always shining sun or rain
Like a violet stone
I Close my eyes but you never fade
But you never disappear

I feel alone
Can't you see me standing on the verge of blue?
I'll be watching all the stars till they are gone
Should I know nothing could make me miss you less?

Oh, I've been waiting for you
To tell me what is love
I don't know how to be loved
How to be by your side
Morning light shines in my room
I'm holding dreams of you
It may take no less than this pain
But I can't stop loving you

Feel my heart
You have never known that you have all of me
Every time I see you I'm falling in love
I can live or I can't live without you

Oh I've been waiting for you
To tell me what is love
I don't know how to be loved
How to be by your side
Morning light shines in my room
I'm holding dreams of you
It may take no less than my life
But I can't stop loving you

[Yoshiki- Amethyst]

It's wonderful music like this that keeps me firmly anchored to reality... haha... sit test coming up, then book out again...lolol..

Back from field camp.... hmm.... fun experience? haha... maybe without the leopard crawling and high kneeling..... lol... 6 days of combat rations.... haha... the biscuits taste better than the meal rations lar... Spent my first hour of valentines' day doing guard duty with edd somewhere in the middle of tekong where "there was no light".... The stars are pretty nice at night though, could see a lot more stars than in sg.... On the night of valentines' day, we got "turned out" at 4am and route-marched to our next camp-site... okay, theoretically it's not longer valentines' day, but well, so much for a valentines' day present.... Leopard crawling on rocks gives u abrasion and high kneeling in FBO gives u a very painful knee, but somehow i made it through bic on the last day and got back alive, a miracle that the abrasions did not get infected though i didn't bath or wash them regularly... hmm.. a little recap on last week, did live range and had regimental guard duty at.............. the all-famous ammo dump.... haha... but i didn't see anything lar.... however, the story bout the special camera being covered by white cloth is true apparently, at least according to the specs tht were on duty then... well... tht's all on army.... i guess army life really makes u appreciate being a civillian a lot more... nvr knew music sounded so beautiful b4, nvr really did appreciate the freedom to OTOT as a civillian and stuff.. One thing good bout the army though, it keeps you super fit and healthy.... I clocked my first sub-10 2.4km timing in my entire life even without putting in full effort (was reserving some energy for some running training after the IPPT) and i have no probs getting up super early in the morning and keeping awake throughout the day....

Lol.. in any case, Happy CNY everybody! back to the field after CNY for sit test and then 16km route march coming up too... From another perspective, BMT is halfway through already.... hmm.. finally, good luck for a level results everyone! Praying tht it doesn't come out during sit test though....

This video is totally classic...

一身黑皮肤 白手套 红短裤
一双大大耳朵 随时在 向人打招呼
他是我朋友 陪我笑 陪我哭
尤其是 当我最无助 有他听著我倾诉

梦中城堡里面跳舞
醒了世界依然残酷

以为我爱著孤独
以为自己不会迷路
以为自己跟自己再不用谁照顾
以为我爱著孤独
却又崩溃的无助
谁能让我拥抱著尽情的哭

让我唯一的朋友不是老鼠

谁是草莓族 你才是榴连族
一身伤人顽固 伤害我还要我不哭
摩天轮停住 咖啡杯不跳舞
孩子练习著 让悲伤麻木
快乐也开始麻木

the song that lulls me to sleep every night.... i'm just amazed at how different reality can seem from different perspective.... field camp next week, so the next time i book out, it'll be CNY.... see u all then! or maybe, i'll get to book out for a level results....haha

They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I will not allow
Anyone to succeed
Hanging clouds over me

And they can try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams

CHORUS:
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me From me

They can do anything they want to you
lf you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to your pride
And just push them aside
See I have learned there's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul
That they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid
And darkness will fade

'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

No...They can't take this Precious love
I'll always have inside me
Certainly the Lord will guide me
Where I need to go

They can say anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily
Sailing out of their reach

Oh Lord They do try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

[Mariah Carey- Can't Take That Away]
I'll remember.... not just for you.. but for myself too... and no one can take that away...

I guess the song sums up everything i have to say on my new life. My aim for the next 2 years: staying focused and not to lose direction...

Tears for what you have lost
Tears for what you will gain
Tears of sadness, tears of joy,
Having tears makes you human, makes you alive, makes you realise that you can feel...

I've never thought beyond that time
I've never imagined the pictures of that life
For now I will try to live for you and for me
I will try to live

with love,

with dreams,

and forever,

with tears....

12 hours and counting..... So much to do, so little time...

Endless Rain by X-japan. Composed on 1 dec 1989, a long 17 years ago. One can only marvel at yoshiki's vision and foresight...... No endless rain for field camps though, i hope...

Here's the vidoe of Sometimes love just ain't enough by the original singers. hmm... I'm looking for the mp3, so if anyone has, pls send me!

Perhaps to answer hammy's qn, i think i explore youtube categorically.. haha

Been thinking about how this blog has evolved, on how it seems to fall further and further away from its initial purpose and on how the freedom of expression became the restriction of expression. The only good left, it seems, is the "promoting good music" factor. Hence, perhaps this could explain my reluctance to put anything substantial up here anymore. This blog has served its purpose.... hmm... rather, it has failed to. In the new year, I guess I wouldn't have anything much to post anyway, it'll be like book in and book out dates...haha.. In any case, i'll be keeping the "good", tht is putting up good songs.

k, the bg song this time is X-Japan's Tears. I always like to point out to people that this is a song about love, but not about romantic love. I'll post the english part of the lyrics here, the jap part and its translation, u all can look it up on the internet.

Loneliness, your silent whisper
Fills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry
And you, you never said goodbye.
Sometimes the tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought, you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart
Dry your tears with love (2x)

Yoshiki wrote this song in memory of his father who committed sucide when he was young. Perhaps seeing the song this way would give u a better appreciation of it. Rite, tht's all from me and for the first time, a full stop feels much more natural than a endless line of dots.

Out of Control. Terminated.

hmm... i wanted to post on new year's eve but ran out of time in the end... so well, instead of a sum up of 2006, i tot i'll just do a mini youtube-concert to end it off eh...

Track 1.
To start it all off, we have
才女+歌神 = wonderful song + wonderful vocals (many thanks to kwan for the recommendation)



Track 2.
Next up, 9 years ago on New Year's Eve, X-Japan performed their last performace, The Last Live in the Toyko Dome. Here's the last official item, Endless Rain. This should remain as the best youtube video for me for a long long time...



Track 3.
The bg song, sometimes love just ain't enough by Stephanie Sun.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are....sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Track 4.
The last song which is The Last Song by X-japan once again...


Encore
Since all encore pieces are cute, this one is not exception. None other than Mayday's track 10 in the new album, Born to Love(为爱而生), 宠上天... lol, not posting the song up here though, go buy the album! It's very nice!

Well... so Happy New Year everybody! Tekong awaits....