heh... kk....15mb per day is too little...therefore i'm putting up this midi file for now... the slower and more relaxed version of "Close to me" in Long Vaction OST... it lacks in expression and the flow of music is somewhat jagged (obviously cos it's a midi file) so pls bear with it....

hmm.... its 4 weeks from christmas... i just realised....

Clinging on sounds so negative.... as though it'a almost desperate, filled with reluctance and a certain inertia... whereas insistence sounds positive, as though it's the right thing to do, so righteous and filled with passion....

Yet in real life, it's so hard to draw the line betweeen clinging on and insisting...

He clung on, he insisted....

当寒风吹过，
不知是冷，还是心凉了...
当闪电划过，
不知是看到了，还是再也不会看到...
当雷声响起，
不知是愤怒，还是无奈的感叹...
当雨点掉下，
不知是老天的可怜，还是无情的讥笑...
但我知道雨后会出现彩虹，
虽然是幻影，却无限的美丽...
我也知道雨后天会晴，
因为我心中抱着希望，
虽然渺茫，却很奇妙...

哭不见得是伤心，因为哭过的眼睛，看到的是全新的世界，只怕心中的死结还没打开... 要记得的是，真正需要哭的不是眼睛，而是那颗被伤害过的心....

听 X-japan-"tears", A1- "like a rose", "heaven by your side", LOTR- Return of the king, Utada Hikaru-"first love" 有感而发.....

hmm...symphonic metal music? lol....

All of the hate and all of the sadness
Have melted away
Nothing remains here
Close by, I see love trying to take a shape
As I reach out for it,
The love breaks up before my very eyes

Everywhere, there flows.... BLUE BLOOD

(baby)想对你说声对不起
用错的方式去爱你 因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆 每天只面对孤寂 已来不及
再说我爱你

yest....a girl sang the above lines and got herself into 校园superstar... Sweet voice, but dunno whether chio or not.....too far from stage to see... The lyrics are strangely meaningful...like the english version of "Purest of Pain" ( originally in Spanish)

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.


Yest morning, there was CO prac and some RG sec4s came and joined our prac... Even with the addition of bl and gillian, the perc section stands at a miserable 4ppl... lol, we did 斗牛 during dazu and khoo didn't managed to finiah.... Didn't even reach the perc solo part... i think i need some rhythm training, esp with triplets... keep messing them up...

After prac, went to have lunch with the CO peeps at S11. Then, we chased bl away to hsing hai to move instru while the rest of us went to watch the auditions at J8.. The judges were very picky, either tht or the ppl auditioning are all cmi... lol, but some of them sang quite well and were rejected as well... We stood there for quite a while, b4 me and weixiong realised tht we had to go for hsinghai concert soon... So we decided tht we'll leave once a person gets thru the audition and up steps the abovementioned girl with Coco lee's "Baby 对不起"...

Hsinghai concert was quite relaxed... The rehearsal and stuff went by pretty quickly.. The concert was at VCH...last time i performed there was the RI and SN combined concert... hmm... i "discovered" tht actually VCH acoustics are far superior than SCH and esplanade... shen lao shi thinks so too... It doesn't eat up ur strings section sound and somehow for the CO, the sound tht the audience hear is strangely balanced as compared to SCH and esplanade... As we were only playing after the interval, the RI ppl spent most of time in the one of the changing/tuning rooms playing floating bridge and asshole daidee... Floating bridge gave me a headache due to non-conventional cardplay and the need to memorise 13 more cards due to the lack of a dummy... When it was time to perform, i strangely felt no pressure... Perhaps it's due to the nature of the songs, to go with the theme, all songs are famous chinese tunes or to put it bluntly "pop of the old"... The familiar melodies just put you at ease when playing. Communist songs are so nice...摘苹果的时候is so cute... After the performance, packed up a little and went home... It damn shuang when u dun have to move instru coz thts the job of the SL.....lol

缘分是为自己心爱的人搭起的偶然之桥

hehe.....i posted this quote a year ago. This quote is from the movie "My Sassy Girl", just watched it on DVD.. thks vin for the DVDs...

The most touching scene, i think is the one where the girl played a piano solo for the guy in front of the whole LT... The song she played was Canon in D, a variation of it, a cliched and overplayed song, even its variations...

It's nice when someone plays a piece of music just for you, one of the more sincere gifts i would say... becoz it's personal, though the notes may be the same, each and every person plays it differently, and when someone plays something for you, every note tht he/she plays belongs to you... listen to the piano in the background, dun u just wish tht someone would play tht for u? When words fail you, let music do the taking

Crazy day tmr, CO prac+ hsinghai CO concert = leave house at 6.30....come back at 12mn...lol

Just saw an ad on Channel U using the main theme from "Pirates of Caribbean".... Wanted to hear the full version but couldn't find the mp3 on my com.... I vaguely remebered i had it... The only verison i have now is one by an amateur orchestra tht has intonation problems and is unbalanced:(...So any kind soul out there who happens to have this song...pls send to me....

PW is over... I need to burn my file...

"
You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary ennemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life
"

arh... snl beat me in posting the last verse.... the verse tht summarises everything... well at least the whole song is on my blog now... and as snl puts it...a true masterpiece...

heh....there's CIP todae...yes on a Sunday... therefore i was at bishan at 9 in the morn to eat breakfast at Yakun with vin... after breakfast, we adjourned to the zj's fan club meeting (J8 macs) b4 heading to sch (obviously at tht time coz zj had the CO room key)... Grabbed our instruments and we took the chartered bus down to CC High(Main).. Yeah..the CIP was this mass gathering of 1000+ old folks, 33 homes, for a series of performances and then dinner... Our perfomance item was only 15mins, i think lesser and we were supposed to spend the rest of our time as "free labour" for the organisers. But it was quite fun lar... my first job was to hold scotchtape while vin uses a scissor to cut it 0_0... we were wondering how much would we be paid if we were not "free labour".... hehe.. just realised tht the direct chinese translation of 义工 is "voluntary worker" which is rather ironic.... But once the old folks came, it was much better lar...as in we had proper jobs to do then.....oh did i mention.... they were so concerned for the helpers tht they served us a high-carbo lunch tht is both vegetarian and halal (make further inferences at own risk) arh...my entry is getting disorganised... shall talk bout the sch now... It's huge... yes.. this coming from a RJ guy probably gives u an idea how big the sch is... and it's located out of nowhere....we were like in the bus then suddenly we arrived....with no warning nor signs... My first impression of the main gate= Tiananmen.... The hall is huge.. but no air-con so all of us were cooked together with the 1000 old folks.... The canteen does not look like a canteen until u enter the buildng and there's no toilet... k, our performance was rather sucky coz we had very ppl and the sound was bad... i think being cooked and cooped backstage 1 hr b4 our performance added to the effect... After the performance, it was time for the old folk's dinner and when we saw the food, it was like "omg, why didn't u serve this for lunch?" but well...we could only stare at them eat... After dinner, they all went back in their buses and i thanked the group leader, Johnny i think... nice guy..though a little odd coz it seems tht we had more CIP experience than him.. he was like saying this was the first time he took part in this kind of activity.. After tht, we packed up and left too... CIP is always fun....though u spend most of ur time slacking around... but it's a great bonding activity:)

"
I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying

Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart

Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls
"

To be continued... Meanwhile, my Inner eye sees no Reflection....completed I&R, the last academic piece of work for j1 within 1 hr today.....

Okay, let's get things clear here. It's one-way traffic on this blog, i talk, u listen. The tag board u see above is nothing but an ornament. Hence, i do not take very kindly to impersonations or senseless pranks on it. If u have any matter to take up with me, u can always find me on MSN, i'll be glad to entertain. So, the next time someone does something stupid, u can expect to find the tagboard gone and i'll settle the score personally, peroid. Hope this is a clear enough message to all....

haven't blogged anything substantial for a long time... was just listening to x-japan's "Art of life" yest, wonderful piece, fantstic emotional depth. It's a legend. The lyrics are fantastic too, i'll put them out in bite-size portions here... the whole song is 29 mins...

"
Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me
"

Nostalgia is a strange feeling, u can't decide whether u are happy or sad, happy becoz u cherish what u had b4 or sad becoz u reget the what could-have-been, should-have-been and must-have-been. There seem to be plenty of examples of such contradiction in life. When u hold on to your past, u seem to be wasting away the present and yet when u look into ur future for a answer, u lose ur past.... The above song describes this contradiction perfectly.....

Since this entry till now is all bout music, let's just continue with music... My media player just turned on the LOTR soundtrack from the random playlist. Fantastic piece, esp the romance theme.... When the strings came in with the theme, they sounded majestic, strong....then a small bridge, then in comes the flute or piccolo with the same theme, yet with a more sentimental touch this time... My favourtie part of the song... U know when listening to music, u not just hear sounds, u also imagine how the person plays the music, esp when it is a solo.... and to a certain extent, u try to imagaine what the person felt. And in this case, the music brought across romance...touching romance....

Hols started....yet i'm going sch every day this week, yes including weekends cept for tmr fri. LOL, holidays indeed.....

Watching Windstruck DVD currently so shall keep this short, its been a hiong week, and unknowingly we have crept into Nov. In short, J1 is over.... a lightning flash.... brilliant but short-lived

如果流浪是你的天赋
那么你一定是我最美的追逐
如果爱情是你的游牧
拥有过是不是该满足
(谁带我踏上孤独的丝路)
追逐你的脚步
(谁带我离开孤独的丝路)
感受你的温度
(我将眼泪流成天山上面的湖)
让你疲倦时能够扎营停住
羌笛声　胡旋舞　为你笑为你哭
爱上你的全部放弃我的全部
爱上了你之后我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
爱上了你之后我从来不哭
谁是谁的幸福　我从来不在乎
谁是谁的旅途　我只要你记住

星星就是穷人的珍珠
你的笑支撑着我虔诚的最初
狂风沙石我得到依附
穿越过亚西亚的迷雾
(谁带我踏上孤独的丝路)
追逐你的脚步
(谁带我离开孤独的丝路)
感受你的温度
(我将眼泪流成天山上面的湖)
让你疲倦时能够扎营停住
羌笛声　胡旋舞　为你笑为你哭 (Ho~ 为你哭)
Hey~ 爱上你的全部放弃我的全部 (我的全部)
爱上了你之后我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
爱上了你之后我从来不哭
谁是谁的幸福　我从来不在乎
谁是谁的旅途　我只要你记住
云破日出 你是那道光束
带着平凡的我走过奇迹旅途

爱上了你之后我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
爱上了你之后我从来不哭
谁是谁的幸福　我从来不在乎

爱上了你之后我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
爱上了你之后　我～从来不哭 (No~ Ho~)
谁是谁的幸福　我从来不在乎 (我～不在乎)
谁是谁旅途
我只要~
我只要　你记住

[Fish Leong- 丝路]