Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Added on entry-
Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone....


This song just suddenly popped up in my head, sending me through the whirlpool of time to P6 when this song was released in their album "black and blue" Ouch.... nostlagia?...haiz...

I should stop living in the past....but isn't it the past that defines u?




Actual entry-

Half of common test has just passed....hmm...some commentary?...

They should just shift CTs to week 2 of holiday and give us this week off. Seriously. My preparations for CTs are rather screwed thanks to inertia and repeated visits to Bishan throughout hols. Therefore, my aim for CTs: BBBX. lol, X represent any grade lor and the subject that got X......econs.

First day was econs.
My crime:
1. inability to think and write fast
2. inability to identify that 10 marks is more than 4 marks and 15 marks is more than 10 marks.
3. PLANNING THE ESSAY B4 WRITING.....lol

Their crime:
1. FAT TAX
2. SPA
3. New York in Britain, Toronto in Sweden (ask me if u dun understand. lol)
4. Dustbins in MRT station?

Verdict:
Definitely not a A, doesn't look like a B, hopefully a C.....

Second day we had physics
My crime:
1. Not bring any heat source
2. Brainfreeze(literally) during the test
3. Writing without thinking (1st qn mcq was a real classic example)
4. Spending 1 night, close to 4 hours studying ideal gases

Their crime:
1. North Pole(enough said)
2. Waste of electricity (direct consequence of 1)
3. Setting 6 marks question that can be solved in 1 step (the power of sine rule?)
4. Setting only 1 ideal gas long question

Verdict: Gas in hall deviates from ideal behavior becoz of low temp. Hence, student cannot breathe "ideal gas", so cannot produce ideal results. However, I wouldn't be expecting anything below B. Hopefully, my intution is right this time. O level Physics A2 *shudders

To end off, some commonly used acronyms in online bridging. glp, typ. i'll save wdo, wdp for after common test.....

Thursday, June 23, 2005

class chalet

The long awaited entry i believe. Was supposed to meet at Pasir Ris MRT at 3pm last thurs. Due to the morning badminton at Khatib, I reached back home at about 2.45pm. Was still able to make it if i took my bike and biked there immediately, but got a call on the bus to get tongs and tissue paper for the chalet. When i finally realised that there were no tongs at home, it was already 3, thus decided to walk to White Sands to get before walking to the chalet. Reached the chalet at 3.20 and spent another 10 mins calling the class reps who refused to pick up b4 calling Miss Wong to find out the unit. lol. The chalet is sure big, as those who have heard me described, 6 times the space u get at Downtown East and a tad bigger than Aranda Country Club. lol, 2B2k should have chalet there too, but the point is how to book... *stares at deng...

From this point on, the chalet entry would be quite boring due to the lack of excessive alcohol unlike some guy who had vodka, gin tonic and so on. lol, the most we had was 5% alcohol and only Zhu drank i think. Okae...on to the bbq, Zhu demostrated a 4G tradition accredited to snl(according to xl). Fireball, or rather spraying deodourant over a lighter, just tht lighter was replaced with matchstick. The food was okay, just that 2B's theory of "say no to chicken wings" was proven true again and they bought only 2 or 3 packets of sauasages which was far too few by the 2B gang's standard. And yes, I miss the stingray prepared by richard's mum....grr... 2B's second theory: No BBQ is complete without stingrays. lol, at 7pm, there was a rather unusual sight. All the guys suddenly disappeared from the bbq area and plonked themselves down in front of TV watching channel 8's tong2 xin1 yuan2. hmm...doesn't seem to be a case of raging hormones...

Into the night, started on "whiling time away" games like mahjong, uno stacko.... also had talking crap sessions and a anti-climatic movie Ju-on which acted almost like a sleeping pill. A guest by the name of Mr Dave Sim arrived at an unearthly time to teach us card tricks and listen in in our crapping session. Not that he was not welcomed at the chalet, just that the time he arrived and left was highly odd and rather questionable. Nevertheless, it was fun having him around and no one tried to grill him for an answer.

After the movie Ju-on, went to see the ppl still awake play a game of modified snap. Ended up as Joel entertaining us with his apparent lack of psychomotor and memory skills. Though I did not take part in the game, was doing some memory work as well to keep my brain alive for the bridge tourney one day later. When the game ended, some of the ppl went to sleep while the girls left to watch sunrise, 1 and a half hour b4 the actual event. After a while, the 5 guys left, me, gerbert, anrong, hammy and joel found out tht we had nothing to do and somehow Miss Wong ended up sleeping on the sofa 0_0 Decided in the end to go see the sunset as well. Found the back gate locked and due to some warped theory offered by Gerbert, we ended up touring the chalet premises and woke a few ppl sleeping by the swimming pool, though one wonders why they were sleeping there in the first place. Finally, we were enlightened and called the girls to find out how they got out. Their answer was a nonchalant "main entrance". Can't blame them, they were obviously oblivious to the fact that they were along the same stretch of road as the infamous Red House. On hindsight, it wasn't that bad as it was 5 in the morning and the Red House is dismissed as urban legend by many.

So we reached the beach at like 5.45, chose a spot and sat down to talk in the pitch darkness. This reminded me of 2B chalet 6 months ago. lol, noticed tht I've included a lot of reference back to 2B chalet. Nostalgia? back to the point, 6 months ago, the 2B gang was sitting at the breakwaters at 10pm at night. We were indignant of the power of environment to change a person and promised ourselves that we would not change. However, looking back today, change seems inevitable and have proven to be so. Still there's one promise that would never broken i think, tht is for the gang to stay togather. lol, though now we see each other less, there always that sense of familiarity when we come together and everyone can be himself. lol, we must have another chalet at the end of year...

Sunrise was covered in a previous entry and perhaps to drive home the point, i'll add another quote from Outsiders. Ponyboy muses, " It seems funny to me that they sunset she saw from her patio and the one I saw from the back steps was the same one. Maybe the two world we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset." on the dispairity btw socs and greasers. lol, the last line is indeed a punchline.

After sunrise, we waited for the back gate to open to re-enter the chalet. Saw Miss Wong walking on the foot reflexology path and she convinced us to try and complete one round which all of us did i think. After that we returned to the chalet to get ready to check out. I stole some rest by listening to Tian Wang (So nice) on the bed while trying my luck at getting a 13 spades hand. lol.

After checking out, went to White Sands Ya3 Kun1 for breakfast b4 the rest of them took MRT home while I walked home....Will blog on NUSS asap though tht could mean after CTs. Meanwhile, happy mugging to all mugging. To offer an alternate viewpoint of CTs, its actually 1 extra week of holidays. lol...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Haiz....i can't seem to blog this few days.... worte entries...deleted them... and wrote them again..only to delete them once again....Tired?....Of blogging?... Fatigue?... Or a change of mindset?...Suddenly, this place doesn't seem that familiar.... Unknowingly, i have started blogging with an sudience in mind, which just totally defeats the whole point of blogging...

Sometimes when one get disillusioned too many times, he stops to believe.
Sometimes when one is let down too many times, he stops to trust.
Sometimes when one forgives too many times, he forgets how many times he wasn't forgiven.
Sometimes when one sacrifices for others too many times, he forgets how many times he was sacrificed by others.
Sometimes when one cares too much for everyone and everything, he forgets about himself.....

Sometimes.....I wish.....



Great....i just deleted another entry....stay tuned?....lol

Friday, June 17, 2005

Just back from class chalet, will blog bout it when i have more time, meanwhile....

Sunrise, Sunset, Thunderstorm

The sun will rise and hence must set...
The sun will set and hence must rise....
Nothing gold can stay?


Within the last 36 hours, I witnessed the above 3 events. Nature. Unpredictable?

Sunrise is best described by Robert Frost's poem,

Nothing gold can stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so for an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay

The flurry of emotions tht flutter by during sunrise is throughly shown in the poem. Awaiting in the darkness, the delight and euphoria of first light, leading on to the entrancing subtle colour changes of the sky and the slowly expanding horizon of light. The sky from orange and purplish, to green, to light blue, to white and finally to sky blue. The surroundings from pitch black to shadows, to vague outlines and fianlly to clearly defined images. These beautiful changes takes place all within 10 minutes and at the end of 10 minutes, there is this disappointment cos "nature's gold" has disappeared.

Sunset is somewhat similar to sunrise, just that at the prime of sunset, a warm fuzzy orange shade tht is just so comfortable to be in is formed. Also, it last for less than 10 minutes before the last light and the place slips into darkness.

Even when life sucked big time, after looking at a sunrise or sunset, one would perhaps realise tht, life is not bad after all, there are still beautiful stuff around to appreciate.
The sea holds my secrets.
The sky gives me hope.
The wind carries my unspoken wishes.
The rain drowns my tears.
The sun provides the reason to smile
The sands records my footsteps


As always, nature is always unpredictable. The exact sky that displayed the spectrum of colours during the sunrise and glowed orange during the sunset, was overcast less than 3 hours of working its miracles. The result is as follows.

The beginning Posted by Hello

Overcast sky Posted by Hello

On the other side Posted by Hello

The End Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Mon the 13th

In the morning, there was a apparent bridge training taking place in school.... unfortunately a grand total of 5 pairs turned up including the tournament director and papaya bird which ended up in 3 tables and 1 pair having to sit out each round. The tournament was okae lar....just that it was a little informal. At the end of the thing, played with bong and eric to complete the boards we haven't played yet. Bong scattered-brain humour is indeed infectious. Staring at Eric, he started counting losers in his hand and he points towards his partner and counts "1". lol..

In the afternoon, was supposed to meet kevin and gang at cine at 1.30pm. At 1.15, I helpfully pointed it out to xl who evil-ly decided that everyone would be late. Ended up leaving sch at around 2 for lunch. Headed down to cine after lunch only to find tht none of the were in the building. lol...after some communications, 5 of us were gathered at the basement food court of cine awaiting the arrival of *ahem* your royal highness who happens to have a larger than proportion head. However, your royal highness obviously had some royal business to attend to and therefore took a grand total 35 mins to walk a route that a civilian would take 5 mins to walk. When he finally came, we were just in time for the movie. The movie was rather good, just that we were lamenting the absence of an extra ticket....After the movie, went to BK for dinner after an much ineffective conference. Vin was there to stare at us eat and somehow started to practice "open exclusion" with xl. Though i could not catch a thing, offered my two cents worth with game theory that sidestepped into economics.

"Buy 1 get 1 free"
If u buy a good at certain price and get another one free. Does the second good has a negative opp. cost? lol

"Buy 2 at the price of 1"
Compared with the statement above, the second one has obviously different implications.

"If goods are not homogenous, as in "buy 1 get totally unrelated(CED=0) good free, how do u predict consumer's reaction?"
This is is a good one to think about.

Finally at the end, a stroke of genius came over me. I found another solution to the Prisoners' Dilemma. We all along assumed that the players in the model were rationale. Very simple, break rationale assumption. If u cannot obtain perfect information, find a binding agreement or contract for that matter, u can make a irrationale choice based on ur incomplete information. Obviously if the other players are all rationale, u will bear the brunt of the losses to "supply" their gain, but since u are already irrationale, it doesn't matter, does it? But when u meet irrationale ppl like u, well, u might get ur max social benefit irrationally, lol, i'm talking crap once again.....

One things for sure though, the 6 of us are indeed irrationale, if anyone listened in on our convo at BK yest, i beleive that more than 90% would not understand anything. lol, to add on, we decided to go esplanade rooftop garden after dinner and we picked to walk. Guided by our instincts to go south, we went all the way to Dholby Gaunt, and even close to Little India b4 we realised we were off-course. We ended up walking back to Dholby Gaunt and went home from there. lol, it was only noted at the end tht we could have taken a train to City Hall to get to esplanade.

Tues

PW meeting in the morning, a grand total of 2 ppl in grp were present for the meeting. lol. afternoon was me and xl last SCBA training b4 NUSS, our self-sustained run of playing games continued so far we yielded a $2 profit. lol, we screwed ourselves against the other RJC pair and the top pair i think, missing 1 slam and allowing a double finesse to go through resulting in 3NT + 4. lol. But after that we did quite okae, I pushed xl to a 4S game knowing we had less than 19 pts and haha he made. lol, xl, have to thank me for pushing u up. lol i need to start on PW and my mugging real soon.... class chalet coming up, would be mugging either chem or bridge there. lol...not like i wan to though...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

我始终带着你爱的微笑
一路上寻找遗失的美好...

jing yin prac 2 days ago, its becoming like a sight-reading session of crazy songs. Somehow the conductor there assumes i can play the timpani pretty well and i am currently slapped in the face by 11 pages of timapani scores. lol, i just completed my debut on the timpani the last concert and the longest timpani score i had was only 3 pages long. Now i have Sa Di Er, which requires precision in rhythm and a re-arranged Jin She that requires me to change notes like every 5 bars. Well... i just need to be pitch-perfect and brush up on my rolling technique by the end of the yr...

Pessimistic VS Optimistic
Deng wrtoe an entry a few days ago on being a pessimist and how the world "fails" him in a way. My objective here today is not really to try turn him into an optimist but perhaps trying to dissect this issue on being optimistic or pessimistic. First we need to see the difference btw an optimist and an idealist. I consider myself an idealist but not an optimist. I hope for a better situation but is apparantly "rationale" enough to see tht it would not happen. But does that make me a pessimist, i wonder? I think not. I think that is still a step away from pessimism. When an idealist is repeatedly disillusioned by whar he sees and loses the very important motivation to hope or even fantasize, then will he be reduced to a pessimist. I deny being an optimist, but I would believe and hold on to a 0.01% chance, would you?

承诺常常很像蝴蝶
美丽地飞,盘旋然后不见
但我相信你给我的誓言
就像一定会来的春天

ps: Everyone seems to be going crazy over Angela(I surprise myself at times, the above statement can be interpreted in 3 diff ways depending on who's reading it)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Just back from bridge session at SCBA with xl. I tot we did quite badly this time with my 2 declaring errors causing us bottom boards, 2NT-1 and 3NT-1, surprisingly we still did relatively okay and ended up 3rd out of 10 pairs. Wats unstated is that 2nd is like 6MPs away which is like 3 more top boards than us.

Indifference.

On the MRT 3 days ago returning from the concert, a man tht is not at all well-dressed started cursing the air. Okae, i dun knoe who's he cursing, perhaps its not the air. The all famous 4 letter vulgarity starting with "f" was used and its equally famed 7-letter counterpart starting with "b" was not spared either. THe whole point is tht it came out of the blue, this guy sitting there just started cursing for no reason, and to add that it's at night as well, on a weekend when there were quite a number of kids around. However, his attention-seeking antics drew only apathy from most of us in the same carriage. In totally ironic sense, there were two wedded couples with a baby each sitting opposite him. The couples were seated on the MRT seats whereas the babies were in prams facing each other. The two babies, out of obvious curiosity of seeing another of their kind, started pointing at each other and communicate using "baby talk". Their parents were obviously amused and tried to join in the "baby talk". Oh! I forgot to add that the couples didn't knoe each other, one couple was Malay while the other was Chinese. The six of them were so in their own world and totally oblivious of this guy who was in fact cursing straight in their direction. The guy finally gave up in the end and alighted at Simei i think. lol, the power of indifference?


In the book Outsiders, one of the main themes the author tried to bring through was for ppl to "stay gold" as in within Robert Frost's poem, "Nothing gold can stay" U see the irony already. The author uses the word "hardened" to describe a person who has lost his "gold", I shall replace with de-sensitised as i think it gives a more accurate description. The theme has nothing wrong, just tht in real life, circumstances dictate how we feel. As we move along in life and experience more things, we tend to become less and less receptive in terms of emotion to the surroundings and become more "analytical and scientific" so to say. Every event now would trigger a socially-accepted response from each and everyone of us. Moving towards a more refined society might just be hyprocrisy after all for u ain't supposed to feel tht much when u're refined.
Socs and greasers. Socs feel too little, greasers feel too much, quote Ponyboy in the book. and no matter how much we may try, greasers would never beat socs. In a way it's sort of true, feeling too much tends to being too much consequences and complications. I'll try to analyse tht using econs, forgive me for feeling too little.

If for say we look at a 2-player non-cooperative game, which quite self-explanatory, we have player A and B. there are 2 options which both players must pick 1. The two options now are to feel and not to feel. Next we look at the gains and losses, note tht this is not a zero-sum game, losses of opponent not equals ur gain. So when both players chooses to feel, they each gain a +2. If one of them chooses to feel whereas the other chooses not to, the one tht does not feel gets +3 and the one that feels get -1. If both player chooses not to feel, they each gain +1.
Lookiing at the above, common sense logic would tell u tht players A and B would be locked in a deadlock of both choosing not to feel. Assuming the players are rationale, who would in fact be so stupid to choose to feel and risk a -1 loss. The above concept is known as Nash-equilibrium founded by John Nash in his equilibrium theoreom which he came up with during his graduate studies. For a situation to be classified as Nash-equilibrium, both players must change their strategies until there is no more potential gain, considering that the other party does not change his strategy. Oh! back to the point, you should by now noticed the loss of +2 when both players chooses to not to feel as compared to if both of them chooses to feel. lol, even economic theory shows the exact same thing- tht it is rationale to not to feel.

For those who managed to come through all these and is sharp enough, the above problem is a adaptation of the famous Prisoner's Dilemma problem which u can find easily on the web. The solution to the problem by me: note that i assumed it's a non-cooperative game means that there is no binding agreement btw the players and each player does not know the other players' strategy. Therefore, i can offer u one solution, tht is to break the non-cooperative assumption-that is Player A must know that Player B would choose to feel and vice-versa, in tht case, both players would get the maximum gain. But would someone teach me how to do that in real life relations?

Sunday, June 05, 2005

After a week of holidays, the scene is finally set for mugging. My files are finally all in order and a list of things to be done has been churned out. I should have started yesterday but somehow I found myself indulging in reading The Outsiders and I Heard The Owl Call my Name. lol, hopefully I'll start tmr and work my way to passing the common tests. Wish me luck.

Yesterday I met zj and huiling^2 at Tanjong Pagar MRT b4 the concert. While walking to SCH, huiling^2 were asking zj if he thought they were bimbotic, though the existence of such a word is relatively unknown to me.(Bimbo is slang, but bimbotic? slang adjective? I wonder.) Anw, definition of bimbo from wikipaedia is as follows- The word "bimbo" is sometimes interpreted as the backronym "Body IMpressive, Brain Optional".(note the Caps). Zj was unable to answer their qn, now I understand why....lol
其实我应该早已发现,你的温柔是一种慈悲.
只为了不让故事结束,我不得以用美丽的谎言来欺骗自己.
但人总活在现实当中,再美的谎言也有破灭的那一天.

看到你快乐就是我的快乐,或许这当中有点虚伪,有点无情
但在这残酷的社会里,若要保证自己不受伤,
那似乎是唯一的方法.

戴着面具的他似乎成了超人,脸上带着灿烂的笑容,对外在的一切都毫不在意.
但谁能看到面具下的他其实哭丧着脸,痛苦万分?
直到有一天,戴面具和不戴面具也没两样了,
到时候他也遗忘了快乐的存在...

hmm....long time no blog in chinese. dun ask me what inspired me to write the above. Just felt the urge to pen it down.

lol, just returned from SYCO concert. Put simply, the first half was mediocre, the second half was awe-inspiring. Tian1 wang3 was certainly moving, the bowed strings playing simple melodies that melted the heart of the audiences. It was the first time I'd heard a CO play such beautiful strings music that tug at the heartstrings. Contary to popular belief, the narration did not mar the performance and instead provided the extra crescendo needed by the orchestra to reach the full volume of the climax. Had the setting been more personal, I would have no qualms about letting my tears fall. Well done SCO + SYCO!

Thursday, June 02, 2005


combination of both, Xue Li's idea:) Posted by Hello