我是一只咸鱼不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想著翻身

咸鱼就算翻身还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最后我还有咸鱼不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦
有没有错
错过才会更加明白
明白坚持是什黱?

我如果有梦
梦要够疯
够疯才能变成英雄
总会有一篇我的传说

我不好也不坏不特别出众我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错错完了再从头

也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风咸鱼也要有梦

有一天有我的天空

作我的英雄在我的天空我知道你懂知道你会懂

[ 五月天 - 咸鱼 ]

我如果有梦, 有没有错,错过才会更加明白,明白坚持是什黱
i think that line pretty well sums up how i am feeling about my life now... a sort of a release, cos my mentality now is pretty much a "come what may" one.... settled in into my new coy pretty well.... i dunno whether it's the culture here or wat but we are still being referred to as the "new batch of specialists" even after 1 month here.... guess tht tag will only wear off after someone newer get posted in...

我的小时候
吵闹任性时侯
我的外婆
总会唱歌哄我
夏天的午后
老老的歌安慰我
那首歌好象这样唱的

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

离开小时候
有了自己的生活
新鲜的歌
新鲜的念头
任性和冲动
无法控制的时候
我忘记
还有这样的歌

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独

天黑的时候
我又想起那首歌
突然期待
下起安静的雨
原来外婆的道理早就唱给我听
下起雨也要勇敢前进….
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去

天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

[孙燕姿 - 天黑黑]

Having nights off now, so came here for a short update since i didn't do any last week. Last weekend was an eventful one, with jilyn flying off on sat night and zihan on sun night. Nothing much i can say, cept for good luck and take care. On a sidenote, it just makes me wonder if i should still try for a overseas uni.... Whether would I be able to take the step to cut myself off from all that I'm familiar with for another 3-4 years after 2 years of doing so in the army.... hmmz...

Last thurs was unit cohesion, went over to mandai for the treetop trails (yes, of all places... the familiar navex ground) ... lol... thts not the main point though...haha.... The main point was that when we travelled back to camp, we passed by RJ from the back. I think the last time i've been around tht area was like half a year ago? Then the memories, like floodgates broken open, ran through my head. Esp when we passed by the CO room... It looks so normal from the outside, but any ex-RJCO- ian would tell you that stuff that went on in/around tht room had a special place in their hearts.... haiz... shall move on b4 this become some super nostalgic post...

coy cohesion on thurs... chalet!!! haha... My new coy rocks! fri on leave.... anyone wanna go back rj? had this sudden urge to go after *looks above.... sian... but think i'm the only one roaming around tht day.... kk... got to run to book in...... oh wait it's 中秋节 today..... 中秋节快乐！

You know, sometimes when you want to say something.. express a point and then the words come out all wrong... It just makes you feel so helpless and fruastrated. It's like you know what's the problem and how to solve it, but.... you're not the right person, it's not the right time, not the right circumstances....

2 straight lines intersect at a point and they diverge after that.
Parallel lines however, either do not intersect or intersect at all points....

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of prosperity
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know theres always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Chorus:
Was I out of my head? was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Dont matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If youre sad then its time you spoke up too

Chorus
Repeat chorus

[Fastball- Out Of My Head]



Credits to kwan for intro-ing the chinese version of the song... pretty cute mv

虽然你脾气坏对待朋友又差凸槌又更爱牵拖
佳在你遇到我不爱计较的我算你坏人有好命

我走路你坐车你吃饭我洗碗你被欺负我拼命
若为了爽到你可以艰苦到我因为咱缘分不可散

有你我才未孤单
有你的陪伴我才有靠山
你若不爽我是你的垃圾车
每天听你的心声

有你我才未孤单
有你的陪伴我才有靠山
你若欢喜我是你的垃圾车
每天听你唱歌

感情若想要满杯底就要呼干这杯就爱饮呼干
这杯你饮呼干这杯我饮呼干
咱这箱拢饮呼干拢饮呼干

[五月天 - 垃圾车]

whee.... kk... bought Mayday's "new" CD, 离开地球表面 JUMP! haha.... and as usual, Mayday never fails to make one happy and high after listening to them.

I seriously have no idea what i can do now but to watch and see........ and perhaps..... pray.....

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall, in love, with you?

[BSB- How Did I fall in love with you?]

Note: This post was never meant to be depressing, rather it's a calm and careful contemplation of the 8 months that have passed....

Now tht I'm sombre and awake, i find it hard to describe this state of emptiness. The inability to think has transformed into a rather complex reluctance to think - for maybe the obvious logic of certain issues can inflict substantial amount of frustration and pain. The cacophony of army life has simmered to a droning but still irritating background noise; the angst and enmity towards the organisation have cooled to a weary and reluctant acceptance of the way things are. Dun get me wrong, I'm not brainwashed to start agreeing with their methods and ways of doing things, but rather, it's the realisation that one has neither power nor ability to effect a revolutionary change and that the continuation in the attempt to do so would only result in unhappiness generated for both you yourself and the people around you. I think i'm starting to understand the implicit responsibility one holds to people whom one cares for or vice versa. The question of "what else would you lose if nothing at all matters?"can be answered rather simply. Yes, you dun lose anything, but you can cause others to lose something, something like happiness, love, faith, joy and so on. To put it simply across in an example- for me, whether I'm at home or in camp dun really matter that much to me, but to my parents, the mere presence of me at home actually mean something to them. So in a way, there's a responsibility on me to ensure that I do not get held back in camp unnecessarily. To conclude this point, let me just add tht this applies not only to army matters but to all aspects of life - tht while personal concerns must be addressed, the implicit external responsibilities cannot be ignored.

light at the end of the tunnel..... hope? .... think twice.... it might be an oncoming train....

p.s. I'm pretty unnerved by the clinical and passive style I wrote this paragraph, tht's why i stopped rather abruptly. Sometimes i think i try too hard to be who i was b4... Though it is a common saying that it is simple to forget everything and start from square one again, the problem is that each and every time, the square one is diiferent - bcos of the route that was taken to reach it, just like in the movie De ja vu...



With subtitles this time....