Thursday, November 11, 2004

In my spare time while preparing for the last 1/4 of O'levels, I took up a book and read it, titled "Sing to the Dawn". I missed the musical production by our sch and I thought it would be nice to see what the book is about.

After reading it, I was pleasantly surprised, though again like most other literary works that have themes on feminism, the message was just a tad too exaggerated. Nevertheless, it was quite a refreshing experience. Its a story about a girl who won a scholarship in her local school to go to the city to study. Her father opposed strongly against this and when he found out that his son, or her brother had came in second in the exam to win the scholarship, he tries to force the girl to give up her place to her brother. He brother was at first on the side of the father, but as the story proceeds, he was persuaded to take the side of his sister. Finally, after much struggle, the girl was able to go to the city, for the better or the worse, no one knows....

Anw, will jus type out my favourite part in the book, its rather philosophical though... Her goes: A conversation between the girl Dawan and the head monk. Dawan tries to convince the head monk to speak to her father to convince him to let her go to the city.

Monk: But he realised after a long search that no one can stop suffering; one has to go beyond it.
Dawan: How do you go beyond sufferings?
Monk: You learn to stop wanting things. First you realize that nothing that we touch, or see or hear or smell or feel will last forever. Things we perceive will only pass after a while. Flowers fade, parents die, the sun sets.
Monk:Well then, once you realize that things of this world don't last, then you also see that they are not really important. So you learn to stop wanting ordinary things, and are able to concentrate on the higher truths. You...
Dawan: Wait, if ordinary things aren't important, what is then?

The monk talks about Nirvana, the concept of the highest stage in Buddism, where man is freed from the wheel of life, of being reborn, of suffering, or pain. He experiences nothing, nothing at all.

Dawan: No happiness or joy either?
Monk: That's the point child. What's the sense of being happy? In the end you only lose the thing that makes you happy anyway. Nothing lasts forever, you know.
Dawan: Nobody was talking about it lasting forever, sir. But what is wrong with just trying to make it last a little longer?
Monk: A little longer? What for child? What's the sense of going through life always dreading the end of some fragile happiness?

I especially like the last part, evokes a lot of thoughts. Will leave you with a parting thought: Who's right? The monk or Dawan? Why?
Uploaded a new song still from X Japan, this time it is World Anthem(Prolouge), v nice also:)

Saturday, November 06, 2004

hmm...time for a update I guess...Halfway through the O's, more than halfway really, with most of humanities and languages done. Anw, not harbouring too high hopes for the papers esp higher chinese and english. Both because of paper 1, situational writing, but, i'll be glad with an A2 for HCL and hope desperately for an A1 in English. The rest of the paper were sort of a breeze, cept for maybe Lit. It was in the afternoon and I was damn worried as I usually hit borderline A1 for it and I dropped to A2 during prelims. However, Mrs Koh's magical lesson 3 hours b4 the paper saved me to a certain extent, esp for twelve night. Anw, she was so pro, all three topic questions of PDD were gone through in depth in her class b4. Childhood, Campsite and Crab, Embankment. We spent a lot of time on each and I'm sure that the whole class would have no problem handling them. Embankment even came out in prelims...So, yes, thank you Mrs Koh and we definitely owe you a pizza:P I am rather confident of an A1 for Lit now if my unseen section don't screw up. Guess for the most of RI, the rest of O's would be a breeze, where we get our striaght As. Maths and Science are supposed to be the male gender's forte, so jia you...The worst is over, only better things could come.

With this window of time I have here, will just try to blog out some of the events I've missed before the exams.
A Tribute to Headmaster
27th Oct 2004
9.30a.m.
Albert Hong Hall

The Sec 4s were on study break and there was no need to return to school. It was the last the of school for sec 1-3s though. On reading Bjourn's email on Tuesday and Mrs Koh's appeal, I've decided to go back to pay a tribute to the great man. For the first time, the sec 4s were treated like guests and were allowed to seat at the gallery while the rest of the school were on first storey. It was a heartwarming occasion, similar to Grad ceremony. Headmaster made a speech, followed by a few others, representing the students and staffs. Finally, Headmaster was presented with a gift and the whole hall gave him a standing ovation, taking the lead from the teachers. The whole thing was just so natural and spontaneous and I finally understood after 4 years how a school becomes a family. It was certainly a tear-welling moment I would never forget. After all that, RV sang "Amigos Paras Samperes"(Friends for life) and I never knew they sang so well, showing their range as they sang both the soprano and bass parts. Not wanting to be outdone, Mrs Lim Jee Nee and Mr Paul Lim sang Auld Lang Sang. I never knew Mr Lim could sing so well, so kudos to him. Then Headmaster started on his ceremonial departure of the school. THe whole school got into two lines, creating a pathway of glory for Headmaster as he strides off. The whole human chain stretched all the way from within the hall to the tracks to the clock tower, into the carpark and all the way down the driveway to the main gate. At the clock tower, Headmaster got into a silver sports car with Mr Chow as driver. Students were flooding him with well-wishes as we followed him all the way to the gates of R.I. There, we did a Raffles cheer and Headmaster formally thanked us and put a full stop to his journey in R.I. What a great man! I'll never forget him and his stories. What do I gain from this experience, you may ask? Well... I gained nothing much. I wanted to wish him well so I went down. Though I was the insignificant one in the whole school's population and he might not hear my voice nor receive my well-wishes, my presence made a difference, if not to him than to me. If you ask me, I was glad that I heeded Mrs Koh's advice to go down and it was a decision I will never regret nor forget....

Friday, October 22, 2004

First demerit point?

hmm...lets start from tuesday. In the afternoon, was studying in school. About 15mins b4 leaving, decided to have a game of bridge to destress. In the second or third round, the door slammed open and a voice rang out "Put down!" In came the security guard Elangor. He confiscated the cards and started on a lecture on how cards are bad and can lead to fighting etc. After quite some time, he went off with a warning to us. No demerit point here though. The next day, day b4 chem prac, was in school again studying, again, some time b4 lunch, we started a bridge game. The door slammed open again and this time, a more weightly character stood at the door. He begined" Gentlemen, no....Children" He went by the book, confiscated the cards and took our names. From the short episode, I would say that the security guard is more worthy as an educator. He attempted to explain, identify, qualify his point that cards are bad. The other, the prefect master, was did only enough to get us put off playing cards in the classroom, yet he left us disatisfied and fruastrated. He accused us of turning the classroom into a "gambling den". fine, I was playing cards, but I did not gamble. The word "gamble" suggests much more. It is almost impossible to gamble with bridge as its stakes are too high for most of us. Cards are a sign of gambling but many poker card games like hearts and bridge are being accepted as intellectual games. Bridge involves a lot of maths. It originated from the concept of vulnerability, and it is interesting to see how ppl describe their hands through the bids, how partners try to choose the best bid for themselves and how players play their cards in their attempt to set the contract. After saying all this, I will reiterate the point that I was wrong in playing cards in the classroom, it is not allowed under the school policy (I choose not to use the word "rule")and I knew it. However, the argument above is what I see as a major problem, that ppl see card games=unproductive=gambling thinking. Intellectual games that stimulate the mind should be allowed in the top, premier and pioneering school. I shall end off by narrating the events in the LT during Chem prac lockup. A description of the LT, I would take from the prefect master, "gambling den". Cards are everywhere, literally. Bridge, Hearts, Big Two, Stress are held simultaneously UNDER teacher's supervision apparently. To add on, some of them were even gambling with real money. The irony is that no one was "caugth", no one was told off, no one had their names taken down. Is it that our school's enforcement of its policy-fickle? Or is it that as a large group, we had extra privilleges that includes breaking the school policies? I don't know. At the end of the day, I was more amused than disturbed. I wonder why. Irony? Sacarsm? You choose. It's none of my buisness anymore...

Saturday, October 16, 2004

I dun where should I start, how should I start. I know not how do I feel, how do I react. In the end, I'll be wrting glibberish but well, something has to be written. Its been 2 days and I think I can put events into rationale thoughts now.

The last day of school was rather uneventful. Was an NMA, thus played bridge at 4G. Then had two lessons and poof, we attended the last lesson and our secondary school academic chapter is closed. The whole class stayed in class after the report books were given out and startrd to pose for photos. Was a nostalgic moment when we tore down the notice boards and the classroom was reduced to what it was before, whitewash and empty. The lockers were emptied, every single thing that was not there at the start of the year was thrown, taken away, devasted. It seems to be the cycle of life, of moving on, of maturing, yet human's greatest double-edged knife, love, passion, pinch at which it hurt most, parting ways. It was not without anticipation that this day would come, but the impact, like death, took its toll on me. When I stepped into the classroom the start of the year, I told myself, I had one year left to not regret my choice to come to RI and take away the most exquisite and wonderful memories of secondary school days. My sec 1 and 2s were a mess, it was only in sec 3 that i began to understand why many great Rafflesians still finds it hard to forget RI. "You reap what you sow" How true. In sec 3 and 4, I put in everything I had into my CCA, into school activities, involving in a much higher level of events than in lower sec. I was duly rewarded...with experience, with friendship, with love, with care tht is so uniquely RI. RI devasted my lower sec days and picked me up in my upper sec days. They say "Only when a man is destroyed, then will he learn. Only when he learns, then will he progress." I thank you RI, for providing me with the failures and sucesses, with the disappointment and euphoria, for teaching me how to love, how to feel and most importantly for making me who I am today...

Graduation...with a bit of laughter, a bit of tears

Sat afternoon was grad ceremony. Again I understood why other schools, even top schools cannot compare with RI. RI seeks to provide the experience, like in this instance, how many schools would provide for a formal ceremony where you receive your graduation certs like in the university. Yes, you may say its formalities, but I am sure, no one would be quick to forget the moment they had on stage, being the pride of the school, the parents, the teachers and being appreciated and sent off appropiately. Many speeches were made and they all carried blessings. We had went through 4 years to live this day, what so sigificant is not the day itself but the 4 yrs. A video was shown, capturing images from sec 1-4. From orientation camp in sec 1, to the many batch activities and daily, trivial activities were recorded. They indeed brought laughter, but along with laughter came the tears. No matter how much you deny, the Rafflesian experience had become part of us. The pain, agony, tears, laughter, euphoria bound us together. After the day, nothing changes, life goes on, we go our separate ways, to JCs and Us, but....we'll remember the day where the batch song and school song were loudly sung for the last time........together......Whether you believe it or not, I almost teared during the ceremony, esp. when Mrs Koh was on the verge of tears, her voice breaking and hoarse. and I almost teared again reliving the experience in words...but...thats the exact feeling i wanted....if I did not tear, it would mean that my choice in P6 had been a great great mistake. Same thing applies for all of u out there, if u do not feel, then it is just so sad.

Okae...graduation's over...i shall make some updates to the few days after

Open Houses
in a short span of 48 hrs, I went to TJC, MJC, VJC open houses. TJC was on the last day of school. We reached there at about 3.30 i believe. I dunno but I felt rather oppressed in there. Yes, the ppl were helpful and some of the activities were rather interesting, but its just the whole atmosphere that didn't click. The group of us who went got bored soon and went to MJ. reached MJ at about 5pm? one hour before closing. Well....they were obviously much more delightful than TJ as much as I can tell, though we got some strange stares here and there. Who says RI ppl cannot go MJ?(indignantly) The thing that caught my eye was its CO. At its current strength, it would have been all but wise to join. But, there is a very huge BUT, the diff is that the conductor is Guo Ling Qiang Lao Shi, vice-conductor to SCO. oh yeah, i forgot to mention that their instruments were brand new and the timpanis were shiny...Thus i formed up this rather fallible argument, but it sounds logical though. Why stress urself up and travel more than 2hrs each day to go somewhere where a percussion teacher is non-existant when right at your doorstep, there is a super pro teacher waiting to teach u and the stress level, entry requirements are much lower. Furthermore, the chance of a leadership position is much higher becoz of a "glorious past". I'll get more CCA points, save on travelling time, get my grades, get a better testimonial due to a better chance of leadership position, have a super zai teacher to teach you, have brand new instruments staring at you. ppl out there, offer me a reason not to go to this JC. The only one I can thinf of so far is that i lose the rafflesian prestige and perhaps end up with 10000 unwanted abortions as quoted from Xunqi. Well.. guess I got to start weighing my options. Today in the LT, Bjorn made a statement that goes "RJ is a cold heartless place, they'll slam you out of a CCA if you do not have past experience or have not met entry requirement. Contrasted with NJ (for example), they allow you to join any CCA as long as you put ur heart in it." Tell me now, which is the obvious choice?

The last JC i went was VJ. Nothing much to say,just that their goodie bag veri gd, also got free ice-cream and free Milo, veri propagandive and attractive in a way. but in any way, i'll consider MJ b4 VJ. VJ, MJ, well done on your open house. TJ, I believe you need to improve to captivate more of the sec 4 innocous heart.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Okae, i'll try to keep it short today. I dun have much time anw. So just dropping back to record some of the feelings and emotions. Had a massive headache yesterday, was intending to blog, but never did and never did i complete the hw. It was only today that I found out that it was the fourth last day of school. Well..in pri sch...after PSLE, we had the 1 month together before we moved on. But now, even when nostalgia sets in, it is overwhelmed by the stress from O's, the mugging "festivity" and the dog eat dog rat race.It is just so hard to sit down as a class and realise that this is the last few moments we are going to spend together. It is even harder to engage in romantic moods in which the impact of parting is fully felt. We are so hard-pressed these days. If u wan work, there was work. In fact, there is more work than we can do and the mounting stacks of paper just adds to the painful reminder that o's are in a week. While we are so stressed out, my message to all of u is ppl, chill out. Yes, O levels are once in a lifetime, but i feel that since this world we see is made up of ppl, ppl must come b4 anything else, even grades. Grades are superficial. You can't judge a person from grades This is learnt from a painful personal encounter 2 yrs ago and i hope no one would repeat this mistake.
What defines a person is his love
.
I'll leave u with yet another song. This time- N'sync with This I Promise You

"This I Promise You"

Ohh ohh...

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...