The teenager sat silently in the room, staring at the computer screen. HIs mind was in a blank, the words on the screen made no sense to him. In a split second, he was transported back to his childhood....Images from years ago flooded his eyes...there was a twinkle or a hint of a spark in his eyes. The years went by in seconds... and he was lost in his own world....Suddenly, he was jolted back into reality.... A painful image flashed across his mind, causing searing pain to all parts of the body. He woke up from his reverie and found the words on the screen blurred...As he gingerly reached up to rub his eyes, he felt moisture running down the side of his cheek... He soon became aware of himself and he quickly wiped the tear away.. "Crying is a weakness, I must not cry" he thought as he sat up abruptly and continued typing away at the senseless words on the screen. The tear was in vain....
Today it rained....thus i'll blog
So many events have went by since I last blogged, CNY, Valentine's Day and half of friendship week, not to mention the many events tht took place after orientation tht i did not post up here. College life had indeed been a blitz, time goes by extremely quickly and sometimes, we just can't catch up. Perhaps its better this way ....thoughts are more suppressed this way and there is no time to regret or to mourn, numbing our emotions... Lets face it, in an elitist environment, you aren't allowed to feel, you are supposed to face everything in rationale judgement and more often than not, ur feelings becomes the "noble sacrifice" for the greater good. Emotions become a weakness, tht if manipulated carefully, can become a most devastating weapon...
So many people are shifting their blogs, many others locking theirs, yet I choose to stay here in the open.... coz I have nothing to hide... I'm not a social butterfly, but that doesn't mean I am a blind bystander. It is amazing and rather amusing to see ppl who flip about 2 totally different sides of themselves in front of different ppl. Is that confirmation by that few extra ppl worth the effort to make urself so pathetic? I really wonder... College life is only 2 years, if it is going to be emptiness, then 2 years of emptiness it shall be, I could live with that....but if u ask me to pretend to be someone I'm not, I say No, I will never forgive myself if I do that...
O level results would be out soon... Somehow, though it's rather suppressed, I somewhat wish I flunk it so that I'll be out of RJ... then perhaps I'll see college life from a non-elitist perspective and perhaps I'll be happier, but well....tht will just remain a thought becoz of yes, u know it, rationale judgement... Logic that seem so right even till the end of the world. 6 points, eh? 10 A1s? I dun give a damn...........................but on hindsight, yeah I dun mind having them. Rationale judgement at work again....