女:慢慢把车窗摇下 你在转角处等他
难过像打翻的茶 昏开一整片对你的牵挂

男:这场爱不会开花 我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他 却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎

女:想听的话你说给了她 我的快乐从此蒸发
如果痛是爱的代价 那伤心像沙怎么画

男:想听的话得不到回答 我却还在独自装傻
雨打湿我的脸颊 好让你看不见 我眼角的变化

男:这场爱不会开花 我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他 却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎

女:想听的话你说给了他 我的快乐从此蒸发
如果痛是爱的代价 那伤心像沙怎么画

男:想听的话得不到回答 我却还在独自装傻
雨打湿我的脸颊 好让你看不见 我眼角的变化

男:这场爱不会开花 我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他 你的笑始终 舍不得擦

The song needed a stronger guy voice, else it's quite nice....



"明天一个人的我依然会微笑
虽然它或许也是伤心的开始
爱情的轮回总是一次又一次
是悲是喜终将都变成往事

明天一个人的我依然会微笑
那怕早已没有人记得我名字
别问我为何执迷不悟的尝试"

The original sound quality sucked so yah...

I find myself strangely preoccupied with insignificant matters....

Like in Outsiders, wondering whether Cherry Valence took a liking to Ponyboy is off tangent like totally.... Ultimately, I could write a million things in this supposedly blank space here but it still cannot cover the fact that I am indeed just trying to fill this emptiness in me. So yah, for now I just want to stand in this emptiness and let it consume me, for it is already beyond words, beyond actions....

Pls let me hit bottom.... I can't stand the feeling of falling....

It's getting harder to lie nowadays. Why? Cos everyone's lying, and so ur every word would be scrutinised and treated with skepticism. If everyone told the truth, then perhaps liars would have an eaiser time. Oh well, my point is, if you wanna lie nowadays, u better make sure u are gonna follow through till the end. Pls dun have a situation where it's painfully obvious that you're lying and yet you're feigning ignorance and expecting everyone to play along with you. Have the guts to own up or else dun take the gamble to lie in the first place. I swear the next person who crosses me and expects me to follow in step with his/her self-deluded lies is gonna see me snap for the first time in a very, very long time.

On a lighter note, a fantastic mash-up by norwegian recycling...



And in the background, a delightful song by jason mraz.. Had it on repeat on my player for 2 hrs and i still can't get enough of it... : )

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
i love peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i'ma saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family (2nd time: A lá happy family; 3rd time: A lá peaceful melody)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't hesitate
no more, no more
It cannot wait
The sky is your's!

[Jason Mraz - I'm yours]

hmm... oh well, i won't mind if someone did try. I wonder how i'll be when i snap. haiz... I officially DIS-courage ppl from reading Fight Club now.
"What Tyler says about being the crap abnd the slaves of history, that's how I felt. I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I'd never have. Burn the Amazon rain forests. Pump chlorofluorocarbons straight up to gobble the ozone. Open the dump valves on supertankers and uncap offshore wells. I wanted to kill all the fish I couldn't afford to eat, and smother the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted the whole world to hit bottom. I really wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every endangered panda that wouldn't screw to save its species and every whale or dolphin that gave up and ran itself aground"
Dark.... sinister.... and yet... attractive..... And now you see how terrorism come about....

And yup.. pls dun assume what I imply cos your assumption may(rather 99% of the times) not be my intention. The perils of reading others like an open book and yet, others read you like an encrypted algorithm.....

Without you
YOSHIKI EMII

aruki tsukareta yoru ni tatazumu
I stand still on this night I'm too tired to walk through

nagareru namida wo kioku ni kasanete
Crossing these flowing tears with memory

deai no kazu dake wakare wa arukedo
There are as many farewells as encounters

kagirinai toki ga tuzuku to shinjiteta
But time goes on forever, so I believed

kizu tsuke atta kotoba sae ima wa dakishime
Even the words we hurt each other with, I embrace now

furi kaeru dake I feel alone
Just turning back I feel alone

How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you

kazoe kirenai omoide ga jikan wo
Countless memories

umetsukusu
fill in my time

onaji jidai ni umarete deatta
We were born and we met at the same time

sore zore no ai wo tashikameru tame ni
in order to reassure eachother's love

I still remember

kotae no nai ashita ni
To the coming day with no answers

yume wo motomete ita hibi wo
To the days I desired to dream

kagirinaku hirogaru sora ni mou ichido
Once again I ask

umareta imi wo
the reason of life

ima wo ikiru imi wo
the reason of living

toi kakete
To the endlessly vast sky

ikiteru koto ga toki niwa tsurakute
At times living is full of pain

sunao ni narenai jibun wo ennjiteta
I can't be honest I was fooling an act

anata wo aishite anata ni kizu tsuite
I loved you I hurt you

ai to iu kotoba no fukasa ni kizuita
I realized the depth of the word of love

Do you remember

hajimete deatta ano hi no koto
The day we first met

onaji yume wo mita toki wo
The time we dreamed the same dream

kagirinaku hirogaru sora ni mou ichido
Once again I ask

umareta imi
the reason of life

ima wo ikiru imi wo
the reason of living

toi kakete
To the endlessly vast sky

How should I love you
How could I feel you
Without you

owari no nai ai no shi wo ima anata ni
An endless poem of love To you

Even though I can't see you anymore
Your memory will live in my heart
Forever
As well as love does
So I won't say.... Good bye

[Without you - Yoshiki + Toshi]

Full lyrics and translation of yoshiki's Without you. They didn't sing the entire thing on mar 28, but i'll be waiting for the recording studio version.... Amazing...



The song just leaves me breathless..... Addicted....

"Then something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark.... and silent..... and complete.......... I have found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.." Fight Club (1999)
Irony. That's the key word. No matter how you look, it's always there. In Love Actually, the unwilling best man of a wedding involving keira knightley. In Crash, the shot fired upon an innocent girl who thinks her "paper cloak" can protect her from bullets and hence she'll be able to protect her father. These moments, captured by a skilful director on film, provokes our senses and emotions and works them into overcharged frenzies that at the end of the day, leaves us feeling more alive.... more human. More often than not, such ironies in real life are being ignored, brushed aside, put away without a second thought because we believe that we, being the insignificant us, are undeserving of such miraculous liberations over-sensationalised and romantised by hollywood. "In a long enough time frame, the survivablity of anyone is zero." (yes, i'm obsessed with Fight Club now) Ground zero, where you start, where you end. So stop, return to ground zero and experience what you were meant to.

I'm standing on the edge
And coming to my senses
From the reverie
Never thought I would
Never thought I'd need to
Say good bye, I bid you farewell
My voiceless words are swaying the flame

I can't live without...
I can't live without
I can't live without you here in the dark
I whisper your name over again
Give me the strength to seize the light
if I should find a way

I saw a dream
We were flying in the sky without a fear
Never touched the ground, never came to my side
I tried so hard to reach out for your hand
The worthless weight kept your soul away

I can't live without...
I can't give without
I can't breath without you here in the world
Do you feel the rain?
You said love takes no pain
With or without the sun
The lurid sky still tearing me apart

Wishing that freedom would reign over the pain
Give me the strength to belive the words that
"Love will find a way..."

I can't live without...
I can't give without you here in the world
Do you feel the rain, over the pain?
Give me the strength to believe the words that
"Love will find a way..."

With or without the sun
I'll be the light that won't say good-bye
'Cause I, I know I'll be with you

[Violet UK - Unnamed Song]

I putting up this beautiful song by yoshiki in honour of him and to mark X-japan's reunion on mar 28. And of course, as a sign of respect for the creator of such wondrous music that have accompanied me through the best and worst times of my life........

Long time since I've wrote such a long post. In a long enough time frame, the survivability of this blog is.... zero also. Maybe one day when i'm drunk (not necessarily on alcohol, could be on air, on water, on life), i'll find enough courage and reason to press the "delete" button.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this while
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

[Lifehouse - Blind]

Super old song tht's super nice....

No point in asking how, no point in asking why... I need time to.... forget