I guess most of u should know the ending of RICO farm(aka Animale Farm 2), if u guess handover, u're rite. If u remember handover, then u should remember the incoherent 2000 word essay I penned with many grammatical errors. Well....after reading it again, i think i wrote enough to do justice to the flurry of emotions then...So, here goes....

Letting go.....seems easier said than done....and the truth is......who can let go?.......
23072004
What a day...an ordinary day....a day just like others....yet it hold so much significance to me. I cannot deny that this day was far more meaningful than any other I had in RI, I cannot deceive myself to think that I do not care, I do not love.....This day is handover, where sec 4s officially "retire" from the orchestra, where the new tide washes us thru. It marks the end of our journey, a beginning for the next generation...... I cannot give back what RICO has given me in the past 3 years, it is too much to be returned.

Though my path in the orchestra wasn't really smooth-sailing, it was a learning process, and I was given an experience I would never forget eternally.... Yes, today the amazing journey i took would be revealed and secrets shall be told and truth shall be known Year 2001, sep-nov, i joined RICO as a sec 1 switching from Judo to Chinese Orchestra. I was in Judo for the first 3 months, quiting somewhere in April orMay. The reason which I quit was that I could not comprehend and accept gamesmanship. I felt that there was more to life than that. A casual comment from my mum was enough for me to set my mind on quiting. After quiting, I was a "
floating body" for 6 months. In this 6 months, I've tried applying for another sports CCA, basketball, which I tot I could understand and excel. The TIC(teacher-in-charge) had promised to let me try for the team. However, coincidentally or whatever, he did not get back to me. By sep-nov, I finally realised that I couldn't go on like this. Thus, in a new environment with new friends for 9 months, I took the largest gamble- as my best friend- kevin was in CO, my brother was in band, I went to apply for CO. I have no musical background and screwed music lessons in pri sch. What I did was apparent sucide, but looking at todae, it has not turned out so.......

When I stepped into RICO, I felt remotely out of place. I had no understanding of music theory, was unable to differentiate one instrument from the other and knew very few ppl. I was allocated into erhu with Kai Hong who joined at the same time as me. Kai Hong had an advantage as he had a grade 4 or 6 piano cert. (I forgot) Soon, we went for lessons under Mr Mike Chiang, basically an extremely nice guy who oozes charm and is extremely funny. Kai Hong was learning at a faster rate and I had difficulty catching up. Not long after, we were also required to "observe" orchestral practice. It is during one of these practice that Mr Goh Yew Guan, RICO's conductor at that time, picked us up and set us to play percussion, me a triangle and kai hong wooden blocks. Yes, with my music theory at that time, u could imagine what happen. I couldn't even play the first beat of every bar(thts wat the score requires of me) at tht time. Btw, the song was Long, our 2003 SWF piece. After numerous practice and guidance from both Julian and Mr Goh, i begin to get the hang of it. RICO was in a precarious situation at tht time. We got a bronze, a big drop from gold, in 2001. There were rumours of disbanding, morale was at a all time low. I couldn't choose a worse time to join.

In sec 2, the situation continued and there was this "draggy" feeling thru out CO. Percussion had no sectionals and we(Me, Julian, Kai Hong) literally had to sight-read every practice and obviously, we would get screwed this way. Near the end of the year, there was shocking news..... Mr Goh had decided to quit. He has been with the CO since RICO was started and the reasons forhis leaving are too sensitive to quote up here, but I'll just say that it's got something to do with a disreptancy in viewpoint of him and the sch's management. A new conductor, Mr Yeo Puay Hian, took over, a fatherly figure that is kind and well-respected. Things have just started to change.....

To descibe the turning point of the orchestra, I could not leave out one very important person, our ex-TIC, Mr Lee. He contributed tremendously to turning RICO out of its decline and to what it is today. Sec 3 was an eventful year, which I would call the start of the revival miracle. SYF was on that year and our standards seemed to be indicate another disappointment in store. At the start of Sec 3, we had our late concert which ws supposed to be held in the dec the previous year. I was playing both erhu and percussion for that concert and I must admit that looking back, i was in no condition nor skill to be up on stage. I was playing crap, i think...After the concert, we had our SYF. It drew close to the march hols, we were preparing and suddenly, SARS hit Singapore. We had an extra 2 weeks hols and SYF was postpone for 3 months. 3 months, miracle happened. Mr Lee went to extremes to hire the services of Shen Guo Qing lao shi, who was given 3 months to perform a miracle on us. Miracles did happen and we worked our way to a silver award. Throughout this built-up, Mr Lee fought for us for many things, including using the hall as a practice area, employing up to 7 teachers and bonding the orchestra in a way that was never like before. I salute him and he deserves the greatest honour of making my time in CO a meaningful one.

In the final year, a hectic year, I was drafted into commitee as a Librarian, though I must say I was more interested in the organising and running of the orchestra than printing scores, thus I left most of the work to Bing Liang who screws everything. Can't blame him though, the scores and the library are seriously messy and "untouchables". Adding to that, these 2 yrs, sec3 and 4, we had 5 concerts, 4 major ones, Jit-Sin+RI in Sg, in Penang, RI+SN atVCH2003, RI+RJ+RG at SCH2004, the fifth minor one was a combined Raffles schools concert in the Botanical Gardens. Such a schedule was pure sucide if we had expected it, ironically. The cute thing was that it was after we had been thru everything that we realised that everything was so much. Dec 2003, we were thinking of songs to play for this yr's April concert, come up with Fei Tian, Long Teng, Jun Ma....these 3 were sucidal enough considering our standards. opps....correction...i think we started Fei Tian in Dec and for Long Teng, we started 2 weeks b4 CNY, plaaning to play it for CNY. obviously tht didn't work out and Shen Lao Shi was tasked with a 3 month miracle again, this time for concert.

During march hols, went to Penang for 1 wk, must say that it was the most fufilling trip as there was this spirit of togetherness that is so unique to RICO. It was the most unforgettable part of my memories of RICO. Yes, again Shen Lao Shi has this unique ability to make 3 month miracles happen. This time, the job was much harder as we were training for a full-fledge percussion based song that none of us has touched in our days in RICO. Yet, he made it happen. Yes, he might have said stuff that are not very nice, scolding us....but tht jus shows that he cares and he wants us to excel. By concert day, a decent Long Teng was ready, combining with RG perc, it made the whole thing sound more impressive.And yes, Jun Ma was finally out(as in scores) 1 month b4 the concert and we started panicking for JOTO 3 wks b4. Still, everything worked out rather good considering the amount of time we had. finally concert....I was soloist yet when I asked myself if I was playing for anyone in the audience, I realised that my answer was a no. I have always believed that music is selfish or personal if u dun like my phrasing, a musician can only meant the music for 1 person in the audience, not anymore. My parents couldn't make it and a few friends bought "Phantom tickets"(Buying and not turning up) to make up my ticket sales. I was rather troubled by the thought till I finally realised b4 going on stage that it does not matter if the person I was playing for was in the audience seats, what matter most is that I knoe that me myslef is playing for tht person. Its like loving someone and letting him or her go becoz u knoe tht he/she would be happier. When my solo finished, the applause was confirmation that i did not care for, though having the Shen Lao Shi shouting good in chinese was definitely encouraging, what i care for is that I am able to tell myself that i went up and played the best for tht one person..... And so i realised that the confirmation that we so blindly go for everytime was illusive, was so fragile and superficial.....

The end of the april concert signals the "coolin down" peroid for the sec 4s as we engage in our studies for the common test. Soon, the last concert went and the miracle of 2003-2004 commitee was done and the legacy of batch 2004 was passed down on the fateful day of 23072004. Goodbye seems the hardest thing to say, it seems as we both reluctantly and excitedly handed the baton of leadership to the Sec 3s. The road has been paved, the miracles have been done. Rescuing RICO from the worse was over and the path is lighted ahead. The legacy must continue.....The miracles must be made.....To all my juniors, all I have to say is that we've come so far from our lowest point, it is time to build a tradition. RICO is a relatively young orchestra, formed only in 1980something I forgot. I heard that it was formed and disbanded thrice, as such we did not have the history and tradition many school had, + the fact that our sch had 50 over CCAs meant that budget was low, membership was low. Yes, we might never be like CHS, DHS or even RGS, NY and so on but RICO still remains a unique orchestra. We might not measure up in technique or skills to them but is that what u want in ur life? Yes, RICO seems to be heading downhill again with membership with the sec ones next yr barely over 50, but the most important thing i feel is that the 50 of u all next yr would create a miracle of ur own jus like the batch of 2004 has done. Miracles are elusive by nature, the more unlikely, the more likely, how ironic. The miracle need not be SYF gold or something, it can be something seemingly trivial, but it would be etched into the memories of 50 of u all for the rest of ur life. The most valuable present RICO gave me was the eternal gift of memories. When a miracle happens in ur life, u wouldn't forget it no matter what happens. So ppl, stop comparing and start living. There are memories out there for u to create.

RICO case closed with a bit of tears, laughter and obviously memories.

p.s. I believe in everlasting memories, feelings. 20 yrs down the road, check me, I'll stil remember 23072004 and the miracles...
Signing off(This is the longest entry so far)


I esp like the last paragraph, thus block quoting it....yes ppl, enjoy....reflect and relive the memories. Presenting to you RICO farm......and the legend shall continue..........

Rico farm 2 (aka Animal Farm 2) (Continued)

Post 1
Society has progressed to such a stage where thinking itself have become a double-edged knife

Whoa, its been more than 1 month since I've updated this place. Sec 4 is indeed a busy year and yeah, I'm not really enjoying it rite now:X(Imagine 3 months later) lol, anw, in this 6-7 weeks since the start of the year, its been rather bumpy, especially where RICO is concerned. Within this 6-7 weeks, we actually witness more contraversies and unhappy issues than during the long 6 weeks holiday. Perhaps the fact that the concertS are approaching finally sank in. Chaotic I would describe the last few wk and definitely much more to improve on. Our TIC is not being very helpful either, thus we will have to depend on oursleves. One day, the sun will shine again and hopefully we'll pull off a miracle as beautiful as rainbow.
I know its not good to be pessimistic but in my current mood and state of mind, i can't help but be so. There's only a thin line between being practical than pessimistic. Similarly, there is only a thin line between being optimistic than irrational. In only so few wks, a lot of facts hit me.
1. There is just so much to what you can do, sometimes you just can't help but feel helpless and the helplessness would eat into you and become fruastrations and the ppl around you tend to be where you vent your fruastrations.
2. Ppl are "built" differently from one another. Some are meant to play big roles, some are meant to play small roles and some are just there to wreck the show.
3. When rumours spread and uncertain information is passed around, the organisation then tends to become confused and somehow because of this disarray, its morale would drop.
4. For everything that happens whether it is within control or not, there need to be someone responsible. When something goes wrong, we always need a scapegoat.
5. Practising 10 hrs per wk can and will take its toll both physically and mentally.
6. We are so screwed up and yet some ppl still don't realise it.

lol, facts are they? observations rather but it concurs with sociology, this is the way humans behave. Still, I believe that one day it will change. Though my strength and ability will not change many, the thought still remains. It is in human nature to be romantic, to be obsessed with things that will not come true. Perhaps when one day I stop being romantic, then the society will change. Again, I'm being romantic:X

Post 2
At the speed the society progress/regress and change, our worst enemy could become our best friend and vice versa. So many ppl take things on the superficial level that it sort of eats into time and degrades them...

Reality check. Its currently 2 weeks and 2 days to our first of 2 concerts in 2 months. How do I feel? Screwed:X:X:X... Shen lao shi is coming down on Wed to "review" our standard...Once again, I'm sure we'll disappoint him and need to be prepared for another earful. Wonder if he'll get fed up with us. Still seriously looking at our dear percussion section, I think its considered a great improvement since many, many years. However, as shen lao shi said, ppl said you've improved, but thats becoz you were too lousy in the first place. lol, no one will understand what the section is going thru rite now. Its like a change that supposed to start long ago is finally starting but its members are disillusioned by the obstacles standing in front. To be able to get a percussion based piece rite in 3 months is seriously a little impossible, considering the standard of the section. Still, this memory of screwing up and hard practice would not go into bad memories, neither would it enter good memories. These are memories that we would remember and keep in our heart and it will affect our lives, the way we think, the way we view things. Like it goes "Failure is the first step towards sucess". Quoting from William Hung "I've done my best and I have no regrets."

School and CCA are just like two spheres of control of the sec4 life nowadays. Everyday, there would be pressure on u to do something, be it academic or outside ciriculam. Life becomes a cycle that we cannot break away from. We cannopt stop either, for it would mean backpedalling all the way to square one. So like boxer in animal farm, "I will work harder" to conform to such a system. Just to reflect, the 3 yrs before, I have taken from RI so much that now its like payback time, our turn to return to the sch wat it gave us. The 3 yrs were wonderful and unforgetable and would stay in our hearts forever. This yr, no matter wat happen, we will all have to move on in society and in life, so wat i feel is that results are of secondary importance, its the process that bonds us together that is truly important. I do not expect much out of life, except to live it well.

To every and anyone reading the entry, treasure ppl around u. This sound cliched but after 15yrs of my life, i have found that fact to be extremely true, that we miss ppl when they are gone and regrets then are too late. So, if there is anything tht u would wan to do, do not hesitate, coz time and tide waits for no man. Its now or never and human's greatest mistake was to ever consider and miss the chance.

"Sing as though no one's listening
Dance as though no one's watching
Laugh as though u are the happiest man on Earth
Cry as though u are the opposite
Live life as though there's no tomorrow
Live life as though there's no chance for regrets"

Post 3
Human are such strange animals. They want to be idealistic and hopeful, yet at the same time practical and pragmatic. This is not strange, this is human's unique nature to be romantic
Another one month have passed without me posting anything. Here I am again trying to recap what has happened over the past 4 weeks and trying my best to do justice to the events. First major event we had was the Penang trip. It was a wondeful and enjoyable trip and the concert Jit Sin and us put us was really very zai. Guess its the holiday spirit getting into the ppl. Seriously, I've never seen RICO at such a height b4 so I hope this will carry on to many more concerts ahead.
Speaking of concerts, the next one is a triple raffles combined concert at SCH on 24 April. Well, it will be the last major concert for the Sec 4s and somehow our chinese common test falls on that day. Still, there's this common spirit among the sec4s to just give everything they had left as we know that it would be long time b4 we see RICO at such a size and standard again. We have 33 sec4s this yr and next all of them would go and RICO would be left standing on numbers hanging just above 50s including the sec1s nxt yr.
The final 100m of the race is finally on. We are lagging behind but can still catch up. Whether we get first or not is not important, whats important is that we cross the finish line and that this memory would stay with us forever. We take away only memories with us, memories of ppl especially.....

Post 4
You raise me up So i can stand on mountains
You raise me up To walk through stormy seas
I am strong When I am on your shoulders
You raise me up To more than I can be....

Yup, back again to lament on how time flies. Its now a week away from the end of our concert. hmm... interesting thought there. I just suddenly have this realisation that this concert is not as important as how some of us see it. We put in every once of energy, strength, time whatever but have we thought that perhaps after the concert, its still not the end of things? Such scary thoughts i have, must be the romantic nature of human at work again. I dunno why but i tend to read more into things that ppl see on surface level. Arhh! talking too much nonsense again.
One more week to go, and then evaluation again.

Post 5
Its not the end. The end marks a new beginning...

It's over, just over. Strangely enough, this fact seem to only sink in after a few days. The joy and delight felt was strangely kept to the minimal. We did rather well for the concert, i may say, especially for the finale. I didn't screw up for my solo:), thts one thing coz i was like rushing thru it during rehearsal. At the end, it was just over. Like a song that has no ending, it felt rather empty, though there was relieve and happiness but overally, there was just this emptiness that ran thru i think most of the sec 4s.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

" Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. "

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

The 2 lines summed up my feelings. Many years down the road, I will remember todae, not for its success but for it significance.......

The last and final part of Animal farm 2 would be out tmr. Stay tuned till then. I promise it'll be nice:)

heheh, shall start my re-posting here. First up, from "somewhen" in sec 3, combination of a series of posts

RICO farm(aka Animal Farm 2) proudly written by me(I still can't believe I actually wrote all these)

Post1
Todae ah... let me tell u a story...based on Animal Farm. ZJ is Snowball, the other candidates for chairman is Napolean, XQ is Mr Jones, the farmers are the Exco and Ben Ang...well...is Benjamin. the other animals are represented by the rest of the CO. Well the story goes like this....The animals will rebel against the farmers in 2 weeks time and Snowball and Napolean are fighting over the leadership position that would be empty after the farmers are being exiled. THe conclusion is that Snowball convinces everyone with his windmill plan and his ideology of communism and beat Napolean to the leadership position. I hereby offer my congrats to ZJ and i will do so again in 2 weeks time

Post 2
todae is...or okay, was national dae celebrations. it also marks the handover form the sec 4 to the sec 3. played with the band without score, felt veri relaxed on stage...school ended at at 1.15, 35 min after the normal time, screwed!!! had lunch, then had the handover. got position as librarian, and as expected, zongjin got the chairman position and i'm am therefore authorised to release this blog. started on my job immedialtely, didn't feel comfortable watching the photocopy lady print scores, and just standing around, guess have to get use to it. oh yeah, kevin brought a damn cute toy dino to school todae. reaction was diff with diff ppl. Deng tried to rape it on the pretext of performing CPR, zongjin tried to get it to write( forcing it to write), boon was quite facinated by it until he saw the "made in China" tag, then he threw it back to kevin, Samuel hem, just kept turning around to grab it away from kevin. a small soft toy, so many complications, but must agree that its damn CUTE!!!!! When we were giving three cheers to dunno hu, i thought i heard smone say hip hip hulei???
had dinner with zongjin and the 2 terrorist and got back home at 9.30, great record


Post 3
Half dae???? or juz another fri????yes, thats the topic of discussion for todae. I emphasize again, its a half dae and i reached home at 8.15? maybe i could have reached home earliest like 6, but still half dae???? this can be traced to mondae Promethium Dae where Old Major declared a half dae on Fri. Discussion was on on where to g on Fri. The first piece of bad news came immediately verdict swith pigs taking 1h for the education of animals after lesson ends and refusing to budge. The second came nvt dae when one of the commandments says that practise would commence as usual on Fri. There was a shout of protest (or was there not) and for the first time after Snowball's taking the lead on Animal Farm, there was discontent among the animals. Some openly voiced their protests, some made a mental note to rebel(not to come todae), Some took it in their stride just like Boxer does as they went with the maxim "Snowball is always rite" and " I will train harder" Thus again, idealists would look at this and shake their heads once more as the communist state once again fails to become reality and "democracy" is once again compromised. Animal Farm 2 has reached a turning point, building up a steady climax. How will Animal farm 2 end up? What will Snowball do? Will the animals rebel again?? Stay tuned to find out.

Post 4
I have a dream....
Martyn Luther King Jr said that for peace between the blacks and whites in America. I say that again todae for a better future for Animal Farm 2. Whether a ideal would work out depends on its ppl. If no animal takes one more grain than it should, all animals consider others before self and that all animal believes in making Animal Farm a better place, Animal Farm would have worked out. Now that its Animal Farm 2, we have another chance, thus it's up to us to topple it or realise it. Sucess or Failure?The destiny all in our hands.......

Post 5
todae's highlight is com meeting, continuing Animal Farm 2. Todae the representatives from each group of animals met up with the evicted humans. It was a rather ironic situation, now that the animals ask for advice from the humans on running the farm, though Mr Jones seems a little can be bothered. The focus todae is on Snowball on how he would conduct this meeting. It turns out that he could not make much impact as he is too democratic. The humans have warned us, democracy would get u nowhere, communism even worst, only a capitalist farm would be able to stand on its own. We have outline our programme for the farm for the nxt yr, no matter what, we would stand by our leader, Snowball, we would rise and fall with the farm. Uncertainty lays in the path of the farm, what would happen? Will democracy or even communism work? We dunno and we are going to find out.

Ending Coming Soon (actually its already posted)

Dedicated to all who know me,

As 2004 draws near to the end, I would like to take this oppurtunity to thank all that spent this meaningful year with me. You can be a passing acquaintance, a stranger or my friend, just would like to say that I appreciate your participation in my life and I look forward to continuing my relations with you in 2005. Time passes really quickly, now the 16- yr old me would be attending JC the next year. In my 4 years in RI, I really have to thank a lot of ppl, teachers included. But first of all, my circle of friends in RI, for always being there and slugging out the 4 yrs with me in the premier institution. Special mention to the 2B ppl who really made my stay in RI really enjoyable. Surprising as it seems, I seem to be more attached to the 2B ppl than the current 4D ones. Perhaps its elitism, or maybe its just me. Just felt that in the future, the chance of a 4D guy dao-ing me is much higher than a 2B one. Aniwae, back to the point, thank you all. 2nd group of ppl who I need to thank, my teachers. Special mention to a few here. Mr Joseph Wong, for turning my SS Hist from C5 in Sec 3 to A1 during prelims and of course his jokes and experiences sharing sessions. Mr Tan Puay Hock, for making me see a whole new dimension in Chinese that I never knew in my lower sec years. Mr Lee Eng Kiat, though he already left RI, for making me believe in the CO again and showing me what is true passion. Mr Mark Wee, for his antics during class, Mrs Yau, for her beautiful best-wishes card, Mrs Lim, for her blatant theories of lions eating vitamin C tablets and all that helped me b4. Well, this signifies the end of the thank-you list within RI, but there is still ppl that I need to thank.
My primary school friends who had known me for as long as 10 years, Andy, Cedrick, Justin, Bryan, Jirong, Khairul, Izzat, Iskander and so on, would be spamming if I go on. Thank you all for making the effort to keep in contact with me and to the basketball team then, thank you all for still coming down to ball occasionally. Mr Charles Peters, whom we just met during teachers' day, thank you for your guidance. Though we may go separate ways in the future, no gap is too far for us to bridge. As long as you all give me a call, I will not dao you. lol, thts it I guess for my thank-you list for all my friends this year. Will be rounding up the year with a series of re-posts and recaps, I guess, to "relive the moments".

It's amazing how depression is infectious, before you know it, it overwhelms you and you don't even know it

What started out as a outing for me ended up in emotional throes....I just couldn't explain it. When surrounded by ppl faced with rejection, one can't help but just think of one's own life. When ppl starts to throw in your face what they experienced and expects you to react, one tends to be lost. At one point, i almost wanted to say something like "What's rejection? You dun understand true pain." but i stop myself, cuz i know that i cannot comment without having experienced it myself. What I have experienced was far less but i can say much more painful. Give me dissapointment and regret, i'll choose dissapointment anyday. Regret is forever, it nags at you and never goes away, subjecting you to constant sadness....

For what flutters a 12-yr old's heart must be different from what moves a 16-yr old, one cannot expect a person's emotional state to come to a standstill at 12 yr old. A person would grow mentally and this growth is human's greatest gift and terror. How I wish that I was a 12 yr-old right now still in my primary sch and yet I wish that when I was 12 yr-old, I was as mature as I was now. How I wish time can heal all wounds including wounds of regret. Regrets forces you to look back in time and break out in tears, depriving you of the right to live.

But for what I am and what I'll be, my friends and family made me strong and made me believe again. Regret has now become a window of my memories that becomes open now and then but with the strength given to me by the ppl around me, the pain becomes less hurtful.... So to my 2 friends, do not fret coz u have nothing to regret. Live on with zest and spirit coz there's hope in tmr.... Tears might well up on a few occasions but they always dry, just make sure that no scar is left on the heart. Live life without regret...

一张文章画上了句号，代表着另一张文章的开始.....