Watching the stars till they're gone
Like an actor all alone
Who never knew the story he was in
Who never knew the story ends
Like the sky reflecting my heart
All the colors become visible
When the morning begins
I'll read last line

owaranai ame dakishimeta yoru ga asa o mukaeru
kokoro wa mada nuretamama
(Endless rain, embraces me. Night approaches morning.
My heart is not yet soaked.)

In endless rain I've been walking
Like a poet feeling pain
Trying to find the answers
Trying to hide the tears
But it was just a circle
That never ends
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page
The page of the first chapter

kizutsuku dake kizutsuite wakatta hazu no kotaeo
doshite mada toikaketeru
(I'm only hurt. Hurt me.
The answer I should have understood. Why am I still asking the question?)

Am I wrong to be hurt?
Am I wrong to feel pain?
Am I wrong to be in the rain?
Am I wrong to wish the night won't end?
Am I wrong to cry?
But I know, It's not wrong to sing the last song
Cause forever fades

kigatsukeba mata hitori yoru no sora o mitsumeteru
sukoshi tzutsukiete yuku our memories
kizutsuk dake kizutsuite wakatta hazu no kotaeo
doshiite mada toikaketeru
(lf I wake up again, I'll gaze at the night sky alone.
Our memories fade away little by little.
I'm only hurt. Hurt me.
The answer I should have understood. Why am I still asking the question?)

I see red
I see blue
But the silver lining gradually takes over
When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter

owaranai ame dakishimeta yoru ga asa o mukaeru
kokoro wa mada nuretamama
kizutsuku dake kizutsuite wakatta hazu no kotaeo
doshite mada toikaketeru
(Endless rain embraced me.
Night approaches morning, my heart is not yet soaked.
I'm only hurt. Hurt me.
The answer I should have understood.
Why am I still asking the question?)

[The Last Song- X-japan]

Translations of the jap parts are in brackets, i didn't translate it so dun blame me if it's not accurate. It is amazing how X-Japan captures certain emotions and feelings that we normally can't define or pinpoint with exact words. "The answer I should have understood. Why am I still asking the question?" shows the state of constant denial of reality. By rejecting the truth/reality, we have chosen to believe in an alternative delusion that is most probably less painful. "Trying to hide the tears. But it was just a cirle that never ends." shows how this delusion might just plunge us into this cycle that sucks the life out of us. With reality's constant reminders, the upkeep of this delusion would be more delusions and one would have to come up with more and more reasons to convince himslef that reality is false. Such an upkeep is likely to be taxing and the song offers reason for it in "Am i wrong to be hurt? Am I wrong to feel pain? Am I wrong to be in the rain? Am I wrong to wish the night won't end? Am I wrong to cry?" The above names the negative effects that reality is likely to bring. So, should we go ahead and delude ourselves then? No,"But I know, It's not wrong to sing the last song. Cause forever fades" shows why. Reality may be painful but it is not absolute certainty as shown from the phrase "forever fades". It can also be infered that pain, no matter how painful, will fade. Hence, the resolution.. "I see red. I see blue. But the silver lining gradually takes over. When the morning begins, I'll be in the next chapter" Sadness, anger, fruastration... If we can endure them, hope will become apparent to us. The reality that was so painful would be a thing of the past and with luck, reality might be moulded to our whims and fancy. Reality and delusion. There is a delicate equilibrium of how much of each to believe in, but in any case, it is not wise to leave out any one of them. In response to vin's quote of "Hope is the greatest liar", perhaps it ain't that crucial to know the truth. Anw, if hope is the greatest liar, than one is in no danger of the pain that comes with knowing the truth. (I'm talking as though the truth/reality is always soemthing negative, but isn't it true that for many of us, where the truth/reality matters, it is often negative.)
我真的累了....

On thurs, was loitering in sch after lessons to while away time coz i didn't feel like rushing home and rushing out again for chamber concert. At around mid-afternoon, a thunderstorm broke out. The rain was so heavy that more than half the amphi was flooded with water. While many other ppl in the sch were cursing away at the bad weather, i was silently pleased at the way the rain made the school seemed less cold and unfeeling. The rain swiped off the arrogance and superiority, and taught humility and respect in the face of nature.