Why do I care? Why invest when there are no returns? Why say yes when no is actually the correct answer? Why hold on to something so thin and fallible? To put it bluntly, why deceive yourself? Why hope for something that would never happen? Indeed, why smile when the heart is overflowing with tears?

Because of hope, because of passion, because of love... Holding strong onto our beliefs, the fire in our heart, however small, provides the driving force in our lives. Dreams, fantasy provides the balance to the harsh reality of life, an outlet for all our fruastrations and unhappiness. We are not escaping reality, just making sure we do not go crazy because of it. Because if I could explain how I feel, .... then I wouldn't be me...... "Like children need their mother, like rivers need a sea, like lovers need each other, like prisons need a key, like winter nights need fire, like temples need a shrine, like lovers need desire, like prophets need a sign, I need you."

以前，想飞是一种自由。
现在，想飞却变成一种寂寞。

lolz, my blog is turning into a weekly journal...sighz...

Having a rather bad cough for the past few days, think it was worsen by PE on thurs and it's contributing to my incredibly foul mood. Becoming extremely edgy and blunt i think, I did not mince my words during lunch with Shan and vin on sat, though shan was prob doing the same and vin was just "acting blur". Made a right decision not to go for PAYCO concert, not in the correct mood and health, though i already paid for the ticket:( Let's move on to wat happened last week, shall try not to let my current state of mind affect the writing...

Sense of humour(Or the lack of it)

RJC seemingly caught a humour bug this week, as many staff and students demostrated their hidden ability to tickle the funny bone. First up, on monday, our class were supposed to have 2 tests, maths and econs respectively. However, both our subject tutors, as though in a conspiracy, pushed both tests to tues. They have a cruel sense of humour, i must say, for then tues we had 3 tests, the 3rd one being physics.

On tues, the principal of RJC led by example in setting the trend by spending close to 5 mins on the podium telling us the A level results of the j3 batch, claiming it to be best in 24 or 25 yrs(i forgot). The point.... he did not give any half day or full day off:(.... The ironic situation was further exemplified when the student's jeers were drown out by fighter jets flying past. hmm...did RJ ask them to fly by at tht exact moment?...lolz....

On fri, RJ phy-SIX department demonstrated the way to do it by appointing a certain teacher to be the emcee for the prize presentation ceremony for glider building competition. "Riiii.....gh-ITE" as she was saying.... u should be able to guess the rest...Ouch! my ears.....

The above 3 examples were just starters. The conductor of RJCO, more fondly known as Lao Zhou, became a stock figure of fun on wed prac. In my 234 bars of rest in chun1 in which I was playing without scores, went to sit beside teddymon who had an equally slack part in chun1. Was a silent observer as I watched him play with fire(flame him, i say) and teach Khai Yu fold paper boxes. Both were amusing events, if u dunno wat happened, ask me when u see me(politically incorrect to blog up here) Finally, he took a pic of lao zhou conducting and added a wicked twist of humour to it. Thank u evil teddymon (founder of ACA and The Evil Teddymon Movement) for entertaining me throughout prac.

The epitomy of humour was reached by a certain Dr Chan from the chem department of RJC, the lecturer for topic chemical bonding. At the first lecture, we were totally fooled when he issued a white slip to a girl talking during lecture, but as the chinese saying goes "paper cannot hold fire", his true colours were unleashed from the second lecture onwards. A few classics listed below,

Explaining why there cannot be 2 sigma bonds between 2 atoms,
"You know chinese chess rite, there's a jiang1 and a shuai4. Asgume(Note:no spelling error) I am one of them, since I'm handsome, the opponent must be the general...We cannot face each other, also known as fei1 jiang1...."

"When u see a girl running away from a boy in the rain, u know that energy was absorbed, for a bond was broken......"

"Differentiate between a nitride and a nitrite. Nit-ride is a car ride at night lar, Nit-rite is u know lar, what i have done and u have not*beams suggestively"

Explaining why atoms forming covalent bonds bond at angles
"Imagine I am a s orbital, yes I'm round*uses his hand to gesture a round shape......" Everyone laughs at the fitting description. After explaining s orbitals, he moved on to p orbitals. "Now I am a p orbital vertical on the y-axis." Oh the irony!

"I didn't know that u all know how to open ur eyes and talk blind words" refering to us lying tht the bell has gone when in fact it hasn't

" Go back and revise ur work. Please do not forget what u have learnt in term 1. Auspicium lar"

lolz, lameness at its peak, but at least chem lectures are the only lectures that i do not need force myself to keep awake.Rite, can-can?

Other memorable quotes,
"Yah....it makes sense.......and it makes dollars as well" Miss Wong, econs and civics tutor.
In a bridge game,
one guy suddenly said " Ouch! I need a nail-clipper, I've got a splinter in my hand" from bjourn

term 1 has come to an end and it is now holidays. feeling kind of uneasy now and then but i guess it's due to the transition peroid thingy. Hope that this hols would allow me to reflect and straighten out my thoughts. sighz...i still feel a nagging reluctance and dreading towards O2.....i wonder why

关怀方式

寂寞开在心事旁
随手种一些伤感
不怕星星来窥探
找个沉默的夜晚

找个沉默的夜晚
不怕星星来窥探
随手种一些伤感
寂寞开在心事旁

我的关怀方式
是你无法察觉的悲凉
只能在你不经意时
才锁上我心房
你往常的亲切友善
是我今生的遗憾
受伤后无悔地埋在
不流露的脸上

such a nice song....so meaningful....