VES... I dunno wat made me sign it so promptly and opened the floodgates for the other 8 of them to sign as well... Makes me wonder if i tore that piece of paper up, would it have made at least a good half of them reconsidering signing? haiz... Till now, i'm still grappling to rationalise that split second decision i made. Was it to prove a point? To escape? Or was it just some random divine intervention? I think only time can answer these qns...

Slipping into a more and more passive mode, would rather let the situations themselves guide me and show me the way than to impose my own methods to achieve the desired outcomes. Back in company for 2 weeks alr and all i can say is that it's totally different now, dynamics are getting a little complicated. There is a strained harmony which i know would snap sometime in the future, and yet I'm apathetic... Why? Tht's a qn i haven't figured out either...

Driving an open top vehicle with a helmet on public road and then taking it into cross country terrain and even close terrain pretty much zapped most of my mental energy for the entire of this week. Surprisingly, it has provided me with an almost lucid perspective of everything. Like in J R Rowling's speech on jen han's blog, the benefits of failure is that it strips away everything that is of peripheral importance and forces you to invest energy in stuff that are actually important. Similarly, hearing the "i need to sleep" in your head for an entire week gives a total different outlook on your civillian life when you book out....

finally something to justify the blogskin...

那阳光碎裂在熟悉场景好安静
一个人能背多少的往事真不轻
谁的笑谁的温暖的手心我着迷
伤痕好像都变成了曾经

全剧终看见满场空座椅灯亮起
这故事好像真实又象虚幻的情境
只是那好不容易被说服的自己
藉口又顶不住懊恼的侵袭

好后悔好伤心想重来行不行
再一次我就不会走向这样的结局
好后悔好伤心谁把我放回去
我愿意付出所有来换一个时光机

对不起独自回荡在空气没人听
最后又是孤单到天明
(最后又是孤单到天明)

真的痛总是来的很轻盈没声音
从背后慢慢缓缓抱着我就像你
你和我还有很多的地方还没去
为何留我荒唐的坐在这里

ps:生活就是这样爱情不是想象