Tears
Sitting in a bus, watching the rain outside. Pedestrians scurrying for cover, inconsiderate motorists speeding their way through puddles, sending sprays up to the pavement, innocent victims scampering out of the way...
Stepping out of the bus, into the rain. The cold rain pattered down mercilessly, I looked up at the sky, the raindrops did not spare my face. The experience felt like crying...
All of us, at some time or another, would have shed a tear either in public or in private, but have u ever wondered wat was the actual reason we cried?
Tears are the epitomy of the expression of emotion. In extreme happiness, sadness, fear, fruastration, one would cry... and these moments would stick in the mind for a long time and just refuse to go away.
We tend to make excuses for our tears, the all so familiar "somebody did me wrong" reason seems to say that our tears were caused by other peoples' action. Yet, deep inside, we all know that the tears came because we lost faith in our own selves. The realisation that u let someone down or tht painful feeling tht u get when u knoe wat someone is saying is totally true but u just deny it...

Perhaps I'm wrong, or rather, I knoe tht the whole world's right.....

grr.... i just screwed my first gp essay yest, but at least i got a B for my econs essay(tht was some consolation)... updating on easter congress..

Bridge players all have a twisted sense of humour, as we saw ppl from all walks of life coming down together play bridge. Shall list down some memorable events... first one was against the NUS blue. LHO open 1NT, me with 16 points, doubled, RHO redoubled, partner pass and guess wat....LHO passed! i sat there thinking for like 2-3 min. Do i wan to play in 1NT redoubled and in the end i pass. Verdict: 1NT-1, 400 points to us:) one of our better victories...
this one is against daredevils, top seeded in consolation. There was this guy who keep doing game raises with marginal hands and every time he does tht, he says "i got buddha,so no worry" and the worst thing(for us), he made every single game he bidded:(
The final one was the last board...the one tht i'll always remember. Against CJC scrouge, partner opens 1d-p-2c-p-2h-p-3nt-all pass. hmm...i had 15 points in my hand, when partner opened, i was thinking, we have game, so when there was no fit i jumped to game. When i declared, i stupidly let opp take control and we went down 1 or 2. The whole pt is tht when i evaluated the hand, I found out tht it could make 7NT....with 29 pts....thks to excellent distribution...dotz

another bridge quote, this time is by the CJC peeps
"I need to go toilet (to wash hand)" in contract bridge no wash is allowed, hence the joke....

back for a update on the "wonderful" Easter weekend I had....

Friday was basically a boring day which I slacked the whole day away, "recovering" from the disasterous O2...

Sat morning there was CO prac and I had Easter Congress(bridge competition) in the afternoon) At the end of prac, there were a few rousing speeches by Hong Wan(ex-chairman of RJCO and ex-ex-ex Chairman of RICO), EnJun(hmm.... i dunno how to spell his name)a senior from the same batch as Hong Wan and Xunqi. They spoke of the previous SWF for RJCO, where they got Gold and went into finals against all odds. Thus, they argued that now with the odds on our side, we should have no problem being the best in sg. However, in my opinion, this argument is seriously flawed. If u are one who cannot take 2 sides to an issue, i would advice u not to read on, for reading on means that u understand that the following are just my radical ideas published openly.

The previous batch tht went for SWF with nothing to lose. They weren't expected to do well, and yeah...basically had nothing to lose. Thus, they placed their trust in the conductor, did not care about what all the other COs were doing and just concentrated on playing music.....for the love of music. CO in a way became their life, their sole purpose and so what if they came back with a COP, they had no aim in the first place. However, the conditions now are different. I sense no fire, no passion in the ppl around me.....

Recalling my previous SWF, which was when I was in sec 3, I remembered the whole thing very clearly. We had a 1 month extention due to Sars and in that 1 month, if u recall in my entry long long ago, miracles happened. Shen lao shi and Mr Lee were two prominent figures leading these miracles, if not for them, we might end up with bronze or even COP. Shen lao shi was employed by Mr Lee over the March holidays, when we were supposedly scheduled to compete in a few days time. Yet, due to Sars, tht few days were extented to close to 2 months and RICO again, against all odds, fought its way to a silver which was well deserved. At tht time in RICO, I felt a calling for service, inspired by Mr Lee and Shen lao shi, and the whole orchestra answered the calling. Yet now in RJCO, my only motivation comes from the love of music, and i wonder if it's only me, but I detect a general apathy from the ppl in RJCO.

RICO has provided me with memories that I think RJCO would have problems providing in its current state. I still remember during our commitee term where we had 5 concerts in total, 2 major ones, one in Penang, one in SCH. The difficulties we faced, switching from a collaboration with SN to a triple raffles concert... organisational problems arrising from the Penang trip, clashing of concert dates with RG band and Maksim, and even ensuring the standards of the orchestra for concert. We churned out Fei Tian in 4 months, Long Teng in 3, Jun Ma in 1 and JOTO in 2 weeks? Long Teng was extremely significant for the amount of effort the "makeshift percussion section" put in. In the first month, Shen lao shi scolded us really badly every practice, i believe his intention being trying to push us harder. After we came back from the concert in Penang, his tone completely changed and he started encouraging us, dropping compliments here and there. Zongjin and I were so motivated that in the last month and half b4 concert, we practiced every day coz Zongjin as the chairman had the key to the "toilet storeroom". We had nothing to lose... coz we worked our very best in the 3 months, coz we never thought of comparing with others. We worked not to show other ppl what we can do, but to show ourselves that a fire indeed burn within us. Perc sectionals were considered "sacred" at tht time and we had to move instruments including the pai gus, da gus, timpanis and all the keyboard instrument from our "storeroom" to below the design block which is like down a flight of steps and 2 basketball courts and a field away. When we played, teachers in the staff room could hear. Now, sectionals are held in an air-con room with all the instruments available, yet we are producing noise that are drowned out by chuiguan practising beside us.

Sometimes, ppl need to think with their heart instead of their brain, coz the heart shows the direction, whereas the brain can only lead the way. This is what I think the most crucial message RJCO must get...

haiz...spent too much time blogging, will blog on Easter congress another time, if u really wan to knoe, find me. 1 thing for sure, we got owns-ed like mad.....

Damn...O2 is bloody @#&^&$#@^(& screwed up. My tolerance just snapped todae, partially due to my lack of sleep. After assembly they called us into the indoor gym and told us to change up, I took my bag and walked towards the exit with deng and bong...A tchs guy was "guarding" the entrance, he stopped us and demanded that we leave our bags in the indoor gym. My response "Relax lar, we won't pon" sidenote-as in we'll still be in sch... and tried to walk past him. He then put out his hand and held us back. I was damn pissed.... wanted to shout smth like "Under the constitution for human rights, i demand my exit", but decided not to make a scene as there were quite a lot of ppl around. I stared him in the eye and pushed his hand away, walking off and he had to delibrately amplify his voice "wah piangz....those assholes ponning" yes i shall not censor here. Was not quite happy with his use of language and he certainly did not help in my pre-established impression of tchs guys. Decided to make my point known so I went to change up and went back on the pretext of getting my bridge partner, xl, out of the indoor gym. Went to the same exit to suan tht guy and then pon again once war games started. Sorry O2 ppl, but I'll have to add this. With this kind of ppl around organising O2, it is no wonder tht it turns out as such, you have no one to blame but urselves.

In contrast, ponning O2 and going to RI to play cards became one of my happier times of the day. Walked past Dining hall where there was 3 tables playing, then we went scouts' den to join deng and jloh. Played daidee for a hour i think, b4 they went out for lunch and I went back to join my OG, which in fact ponned the whole war games. Then went to CO room to slack off and cool off, felt much better there though I could not play with the drums coz they were having auditions. CIP was another orgainisational disaster tht i shall elaborate on. Sending 1200 ppl concentrated in a region of sg to sell keychains for 5 bucks is at most a poor imitation of the batch project we did for O1. The best thing was that I didn't even understand the purpose of the fund-raising exercise. So i went on a tour of orchard road and came back with $1.50 i think, courtesy of some kind ppl, who were willing to part with their cash for some small round sticker. Then, they had to make the 1200 of us travel to boon keng MRT in the NEL and then take a bus to the collection centre. What i would say is tht the amt of money spent on bus and mrt fares altogether would be larger than the amt collected. And yes the concert, I was at ultimate cynic mode, pissing deng off i think. But speaking the truth, it was disusting. It was obvious that they did no sound check, much less said rehearsed properly through their items. After their performance, they gave a speech and i added my comments(in brackets) "we are a performing art(u call urself a performing art, u sure?)....Dreams has provided us with a recording studio to rehearse and record(wat? u actually record tht noise? and in a recording studio? Is it worth it?) .." I usually have high respect for ppl who try to bring music into the general public but this is a total turn-off. Boon is the only drummer i've seen so far who has enough energetics to match with the guitars and no, i really mean no, singers so far could hold his or her voice in the band. 1, they do not have a voice that stands out and 2, they have little or no control over their voices. When singing becomes monotonous droning that comes on and off and screaming ending up as only a whimper, i suggest u get an instrument to play the melody. Stop trying so hard to kill off audience with a loud overbearing band with a dwarf voice, as for some songs it really sounded like some chain explosion took place in some factory or something. Either this or all mics in sg has something against RJ singers, if it is the latter, then I really have nothing to say. O2 was a disaster and if the team self-delusionally proclaim it a sucess, I again shall really have nothing to say. A perfect analogy: Mirror A looks into Mirror B and says "Wow, I'm so beautiful".

ps. This article meant no offence. If any was taken, too bad...

And we will dance?

O2 became a perfect mockery of the beautifully composed batch song as jc1s of RJC todae engage in total "cold warfare" against the O2 team. The title itself-" And we will dance?" shows the irony of the situation through the addition of the question mark at the end.

0830- extreme deserters way of doing it
While the band "postponed" were playing some pop songs, the hardcore deserters stood up and openly made their way towards the exit. They strolled out at a leisurely pace, seemingly taunting the O2 team to act against them. Though the acoustics of the indoor gym were rather bad and whenever i heard the singers they were off-tune, I believe the underlying factor of them leaving is just a utter complete cynicism towards O2.

0840- Monkey see, monkey do(the follow-the-crowd mentality)
The mass movement led by the hardcore deserters was the exact motivation needed for those who had the intention but not the courage. After observing the safe departure of the deserters and the nonchalance of the O2 team(at tht time i think they were rather taken aback), a second movement was started. This time-it was a mass stampede. Ppl were rushing for the exits with cries of freedom. After a while the sitution got out of hand and the O2 team finally got their act together and prevented ppl from leaving. To me, the unintended victim of the circumstances was the unfortunate band "postponed". They were halfway through their reportoire, i think, and by leaving during a performance, it's equivalent to jeering a sportmans in his race.

0900- Dictatorship through fear and terror
Before the situation worsens as dissent is rising in the crowds who were complaining that they should be allowed to leave since ppl already left and were not stopped, an authorative figure had to come in to stabilize the situation. And boy did he stablize the situation-with excessive propaganda and threats. Starting with brainwashing techniques, he warns us in the danger of believe "legends of O2 spread by the seniors" and insisted that "O2 was compulsory". A veiled threat came in here as he said "absence would have to be explained to the CTs on Monday". Finally, to make himself seem more humane, he tries to show his reluctance (a kind of "it's not that i dun wan to let ur all go off.."thingy) by claiming his responsiblity over us during O2 and "parents expect him to be responsible". Obviously, some amongst us would disagreely fervently and say that their parents expect them to be home....

1245- And we will Rebel, Selphar Rebellion
Walking into the indoor gym after lunch proves only 2 points, that if RJ wanted to issue white slip to every jc1 that is M.I.A., they would run out of paper first, two, dictatorship failed. The remnants of cohort were a sorry sight and the majority of them began a silent protestation of them being held back against own will. The more daring of the protesters sat down right in front of the dance team and started playing cards, listening to music, sleeping. The more conservatives one were spread out at the side, talking in their groups. Their common aim: cold war tactics- total ignorance and nonchanlance. The dancers at the 2nd level were exasperated as they tried to no avail to get the majority of the ppl to start dancing. The bad sound system added to their misery and everyone just pretended not to hear or chose not hear what was being said.

1430- Storyline? What Storyline? Station games? Are u sure?
After a boring briefing on tmr's CIp project, the O2 team presented the storyline of K'predorus 2. Due to the bad sound system and my personal disinterest after tolerating 6 hrs of non-efficiency, storyline was just noise in the ears that was irritating. Storyline ended quickly and we went off for station games, by this time if u had 10 in a OG, u are considered a enthu OG...Speaks volumes eh.... Station games were like urgh..., think everyone was fed up and disgusted by the concept of O2 and we bullied Gautum into letting us exercise our human rights. A few games were rather okay and fun but by then, it was all too late....too little....

1700- Conclusion of Day 1
The first qn to ask, who is to be blame? Can we blame the O2 team? I think not. They spent great effort preparing and orgainising todae's stuff and it would be wrong for us to blame them. Instead, they need a pat on the back, for i think some of them were rather disappointed at how things turned out. So, who is to blame? If u ask me, I say its because most of the jc1s have lost their spontaneous self and become cynical and protective of opening up again. They(maybe including me) do not see the point of O2, and when a man doesn't believe in a certain cause, he would not work for it. It is a simple logic, understood by many, but the solution to this problem yet eluded many, including the elites of a top premier JC in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. O2 was the best example

Will do a fast update on hols here coz i still have my econs essay untouched.

Yup... i went to cine 3 times in the week and finally managed to catch Howl's moving castle on the last trip, alone. Nice movie, I quite like it though I did not really get the plot, only after the movie then i was somewhat "enlightened". lolz, the other two trips to cine was spent pooling and stoning which were fun in their own ways....

Wed co prac was sort of crappy... progress was slow and ppl weren't cooperating and lao zhou was rather pissed i think, for he had to accuse me of not playing my part in chun1. lolz, i waited 234 bars to play, u think i will forget to play. haiz... but then RJCO is really becoming RJ "hotel" a term coined by the man himself. During announcements, Alroy did a la LSH (Without the fire and weight though).... Xunqi was more blunt and direct, i guess, and more effective as long as there are no negative repercussions... as in the words said achieve a negative effect instead of its intended one.

well... i must really rush off to try finish my essay, the key word is try, for i really want to watch LOTR on TV later. Oh yeah, i changed the music, guan1 huai2 fang1 shi4 i s playing now....