2 songs up in this post. The first is the one playing in the background, Oasis by D.A.I.. One of those rock songs you can listen over and over again without getting bored of it. The next song is the one below in the youtube video. Mayday's junior - 丁当, with a super sad MV and very nice voice and melody.




猜不透 你最近是好是坏 更沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透 相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸 是真的 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透 相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸 是真的 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透
[猜不透 - 丁当]

been reading the book - The Black Swan. Basically black swans are low probability, high impact events that the author feels we underestimate in our daily lives. Talking about how we are so susceptible to looking at our past for links of causation(most of the time, only correlation is found and our mind generates the logic to make it a cause and effect situation) so that we can project the future with predictable certainty, he mentioned this line - "that we would rather be wrong with infinite precision than to accept that we are approximately right" How very true...

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由, 那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口, 那我宁愿对你从没认真过...

Dark knight was mind-blowing, just like V for Vendetta, Fight Club...

"Sometimes, truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."

At what cost? Truth at times can get pretty ugly and we all like our truths (ie. facts weaved into a story) packaged and presented in the papers on the breakfast table in a way　such that they are as palatable as the food on the table. Nobody likes truths that disillusion them, crush their ideals. But the fact remains that truths are neutral, they do not come nice and beautiful everytime. While reaffirming faith is crucial in maintaining societal order, it comes with a risk of reinforcing "ineffective/destructive/wasteful(in Darwinian terms)" societal behavior..

"
The Joker: [speaking to Two-Face] Do I really look like a man with a plan, Harvey? I don't have a plan. The mob has plans, the cops have plans. You know what I am, Harvey? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one. I just *do* things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I *hate* plans. Yours, theirs, everyone's. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I am not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that what happened to you and your girlfriend wasn't personal, you know I'm telling the truth.
[hands Two-Face a gun]

The Joker: It's a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics. But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair.

[with the gun in Two-Face's hand, he places the gun to his forehead; Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin]
Two-Face: [showing the unscarred side] You live.
The Joker: Mm-hm.
Two-Face: [flipping, showing the scarred side] You die.
The Joker: Now you're talking!
"

This part absolutely reminds me of Fight Club, the scene where he scarred his hand using lye. I like the way he subtly pointed out the paradox in our morality judgement. Drawing an example from the movie itself, he threatened to "burn down a hospital" if some guy does not die within 24 hours. The immediate mob mentality is that this guy has got a responsibility to get himself killed and everyone who knows the above statement has a responsibility to make sure he is killed. Now, note that the guy has no direct cause and effect link to the hospital being burned down. It's an arbitrary relationship drawn out by a criminal. In normal circumstances, he would not be held accountable at all, but with the power of words, he is deemed by society accountable. How did we ever reach such a conclusion? The movie attributed it to fear, i think it's something more sinister than that. It's the illusion of hope. We actually believe that we might be doing something good by killing the guy...

Finally, some comments on Joker. I didn't find him freaky, rather I found him eerily real, sane and logical. A very believable charcter. "Nothing. No DNA, no fingerprints. Clothing is custom, no tags or brand labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias." I think the producer is trying to remind us that the Joker is a symbol, not just a character. He could be anyone of us....

Music is from Yoshiki's album Eternal Melody II, I'll Be Your Love (instrumental)... I love the way the individual soloists and strings section come in for the verse. And as usual the piano playing is fantastic....

前天， 有人问我，“到底怎么了？”　简简单单的一个问题， 我草率地回答：“没什么，还好嘛．．．”　回去想了一想，才发现或许我的回答应该没那么简单吧．．．

我想我也累了， 但心结总是解不开...　还在盲目地找寻着理由，解释．．．
我连流泪的权力都没有了．．．
这场戏也该落幕了，只怕卸了妆，拿下面具的我对周围的人来说是陌生的．．
这最佳演员，　我想我拿定了．．．

Why are people so afraid of confrontations? We side-step, avoid, detour, avert, overlook, ignore, pretend, disguise.... anything but confront. In the end,just like a car swerving in and out of traffic, a sudden loss of control and.... we crash.. And with the word crash, i mean a complete obliteration... No remnants, no souvenirs, just a hazed, distorted memory of what happened. And we walk away, dazed, continuing in our staunch aversion, waiting for another chance to crash, to obliterate..

I think i agree with jloh's statement in his latest post.The greatest irony about ns is that while we whine, complain about, disagree with many parts of the system, you come to realize near the end(where we are right now) that perhaps there's no better alternative...

I've just discovered my new favourite past time - Driving my open-top vehicle in the rain on the expressway. The chattering teeth, the trembling hands, the blurred vision and the chilling wind... an exhilarating experience..

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜半信仰丛白剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作

夜半信仰丛白剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔
如果你想起我
你会想到什么

[张惠妹 - 如果你也听说]

song written by jay chou...

can't even do my guard duty in peace.... sianz.... oh well... things can't get worse, can they?

Taken from Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.. Mind-blowing Stuff...

The tears were really coming now, and one fat stripe rolled along the barrel of the gun and down the loop around the trigger to burst flat against my index finger. Raymond Hessel closed both eyes so I pressed the gun hard against his temple so he would always feel it pressing right there and I was beside him and this was his life and he could be dead at any moment. > > This wasn’t a cheap gun, and I wondered if salt might fuck it up. > > Everything had gone so easy, I wondered. I’d done everything the mechanic said to do. This was why we needed to buy a gun. This was doing my homework. > > We each had to bring Tyler twelve driver’s licenses. This would prove we each made twelve human sacrifices. > > I parked tonight, and I waited around the block for Raymond Hessel to finish his shift at the all-night Korner Mart, and around midnight he was waiting for a night owl bus when I finally walked up and said, hello. > > Raymond Hessel, Raymond didn’t say anything. Probably he figured I was after his money, his minimum wage, the fourteen dollars in his wallet. Oh, Raymond Hessel, all twenty-three years of you, when you started crying, tears rolling down the barrel of my gun pressed to your temple, no, this wasn’t about money. Not everything is about money. > > You didn’t even say, hello. > > You’re not your sad little wallet. > > I said, nice night, cold but clear. > > You didn’t even say, hello. > > I said, don’t run, or I’ll have to shoot you in the back. I had the gun out, and I was wearing a latex glove so if the gun ever became a people’s exhibit A, there’d be nothing on it except the dried tears of Raymond Hessel, Caucasian, aged twenty-three with no distinguishing marks. > > Then I had your attention. Your eyes were big enough that even in the streetlight I could see they were antifreeze green. > > You were jerking backward and backward a little more every time the gun touched your face, as if the barrel was too hot or too cold. Until I said, don’t step back, and then you let the gun touch you, but even then you rolled your head up and away from the barrel. > > You gave me your wallet like I asked. > > Your name was Raymond K. Hessel on your driver’s license. You live at 1320 SE Benning, apartment A. That had to be a basement apartment. They usually give basement apartments letters instead of numbers. > > Raymond K. K. K. K. K. K. Hessel, I was talking to you. > > Your head rolled up and away from the gun, and you said, yeah. You said, yes, you lived in a basement. > > You had some pictures in the wallet, too. There was your mother. > > This was a tough one for you, you’d have to open your eyes and see the picture of Mom and Dad smiling and see the gun at the same time, but you did, and then your eyes closed and you started to cry. > > You were going to cool, the amazing miracle of death. One minute, you’re a person, the next minute, you’re an object, and Mom and Dad would have to call old doctor whoever and get your dental records because there wouldn’t be much left of your face, and Mom and Dad, they’d always expected so much more from you and no, life wasn’t fair, and now it was come to this. > > Fourteen dollars. > > This, I said, is this your mom? > > Yeah. You were crying, sniffing, crying. You swallowed. Yeah. > > You had a library card. You had a video movie rental card. A social security card. Fourteen dollars cash. I wanted to take the bus pass, but the mechanic said to only take the driver’s license. An expired community college student card. > > You used to study something. > > You’d worked up a pretty intense cry at this point so I pressed the gun a little harder against your cheek, and you started to step back until I said, don’t move or you’re dead right here. Now, what did you study? > > Where? > > In college, I said. You have a student card. > > Oh, you didn’t know, sob, swallow, sniff, stuff, biology. > > Listen, now, you’re going to die, Ray-mond K. K. K. Hessel, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. So lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. I don’t give a shit. I have the gun. > > Finally, you were listening and coming out of the little tragedy in your head. > > Fill in the blank. What does Raymond Hessel want to be when he grows up? > > Go home, you said you just wanted to go home, please. > > No shit, I said. But after that, how did you want to spend your life? If you could do anything in the world. > > Make something up. > > You didn’t know. > > Then you’re dead right now, I said. I said, now turn your head. > > Death to commence in ten, in nine, in eight. > > A vet, you said. You want to be a vet, a veterinarian. > > That means animals. You have to go to school for that. > > It means too much school, you said. > > You could be in school working your ass off, Raymond Hessel, or you could be dead. You choose. I stuffed your wallet into the back pocket of your jeans. So you really wanted to be an animal doctor. I took the saltwater muzzle of the gun off one cheek and pressed it against theother. Is that what you’ve always wanted to be, Dr. Raymond K. K. K. K. Hessel, a veterinarian? > > Yeah. > > No shit? > > No. No, you meant, yeah, no shit. Yeah. > > Okay, I said, and I pressed the wet end of the muzzle to the tip of your chin, and then the tip of your nose, and everywhere I pressed the muzzle, it left a shining wet ring of your tears. > > So, I said, go back to school. If you wake up tomorrow morning, you find a way to get back into school. > > I pressed the wet end of the gun on each cheek, and then on your chin, and then against your forehead and left the muzzle pressed there. You might as well be dead right now, I said. > > I have your license. > > I know who you are. I know where youlive. I’m keeping your license, and I’m going to check on you, mister Raymond K. Hessel. In three months, and then in six months, and then in a year, and if you aren’t back in school on your way to being a veterinarian, you will be dead. > > You didn’t say anything. > > Get out of here, and do your little life, but remember I’m watching you, Raymond Hessel, and I’d rather kill you than see you working a shit job for just enough money to buy cheese and watch television. > > Now, I’m going to walk away so don’t turn around. > > This is what Tyler wants me to do. > > These are Tyler’s words coming out of my mouth. > > I am Tyler’s mouth. > > I am Tyler’s hands. > > Everybody in Project Mayhem is part of Tyler Durden, and vice versa. > > Raymond K. K. Hessel, your dinner is going to taste better than any meal you’ve ever eaten, and tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your entire life.